Health: Today, I shat out a staple. FML - FML

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 618

You deserved it 17 977

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Same thing different taste

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 682

You deserved it 35 753

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 745

You deserved it 3 630

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 296

You deserved it 4 317

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 49 089

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 421

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 136

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 266

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 571

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

Next

Top comments

rockerbaby3192 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:45

why did you eat one

BShady96 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:31

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-

Comments

MrSassypants 33

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:15

36 ooh nice trick and I love you user name. *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

NomNomMuffin 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:16

THATS ******* FUNNY

anorexicbarbie 8

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:17

It took forever for me to be able to read the comments on the iPhone app.

gmc_blossom 21

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:03

I know. Me too. -_-

alexm501 0

Saturday 16 June 2012 14:01

Same

JapMASTER5000 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:19

Hurts going in, hurts going out.

Cathos 3

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:19

.......what?

steelersfan3250 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:49

he took a dump and a staple came out with it

brycen22 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:21

how so you eat a staple

CitrusGirl 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:24

You do what you must to get your daily iron.

richcranium 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 23:30

staples are not iron fool

MrXerxes5 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:34

I fail to see how this is bad. At least it's not in your intestines ravaging the hell out of them but in your poop and out of your body. Go ******* cheer for yourself

johncrb 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:37

at least you didn't piss it out

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:42

what...how...why!

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Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 99

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 534

You deserved it 1 565

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 810

You deserved it 3 157

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 920

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 318

You deserved it 3 039

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity, which is known to be "the scariest film ever." After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 624

You deserved it 35 497

Today, my mom has fibromyalgia and the absolute worst case of arthritis that at least four different doctors have ever seen, I have dyspraxia, my dad has been diagnosed with arthritis, and my older brother is also showing signs of arthritis. Physical ailments run rampant in my family, in case you didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 104