Kids: Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense....

By Jakesssss - 10/04/2015 01:02 - United States - Hudson

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 277

You deserved it 10 821

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Same thing different taste

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 381

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 374

You deserved it 34 847

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 20:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 798

You deserved it 54 526

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 7 643

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 2 410

By aero00 - 27/07/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 567

You deserved it 13 509

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 651

By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 6 733

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 10 April 2015 12:17

Well, look at the bright side...you're a great teacher!!!

Abdul888 16

Friday 10 April 2015 12:27

You taught him "self defense," and now the brat learned to assault.

Comments

Teyros 24

Friday 10 April 2015 14:33

Well that's just uncool. Teach a man to fish.. And he knocks you out? What a dick.

rockwrench 18

Friday 10 April 2015 14:50

What goes around comes around in the school of hard knocks.

wakemeupplease 21

Friday 10 April 2015 15:16

you should have taught him not to use it against you first

AndrewMoreira14 19

Friday 10 April 2015 15:34

They grow up so fast :')

vikky538 28

Friday 10 April 2015 15:40

He needs practice and he practiced on his teacher first

thenaff 4

Friday 10 April 2015 17:11

That's some effective teaching you've got going there. Maybe teach him about time and place next?

XxVictorBravoxX 4

Friday 10 April 2015 17:19

oops pow surprise!!

ExorcistParrot 11

Friday 10 April 2015 17:22

You will pretty much never need to. Knock somebody unconscious in self-defense. You deserved it.

DoomedGemini 37

Friday 10 April 2015 18:55

Yeah you will? If you need to get away it might be the only way to.

Grauncho 27

Friday 10 April 2015 17:38

*sniff* That's mah boy.

kickyourtitsin 12

Friday 10 April 2015 17:59

Teach me your ways

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 31 090

You deserved it 3 098

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I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 82

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 305

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I agree, your life sucks 45 684

You deserved it 4 436

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I agree, your life sucks 3 816

You deserved it 1 177

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I agree, your life sucks 48 730

You deserved it 4 563

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 986

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 138

You deserved it 6 253

Same thing different taste

Cobra KO

So, here's the thing…

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