Animals: Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my... - FML

By birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 180

You deserved it 12 625

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Same thing different taste

By poophead - 30/05/2015 02:39 - Philippines

Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 2 565

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 3 416

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 3 639

The *****

By FML - 21/06/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 685

You deserved it 5 393

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 996

You deserved it 2 126

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 183

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 513

You deserved it 17 453

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 449

You deserved it 943

By overlandparkmommie - 14/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 484

You deserved it 3 765

Next

Top comments

alex_vik 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:28

90 dollars? Two and a half hours? WTF were you getting done?

justme08 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:25

DAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM that sucks!!!

Comments

TreeStarOsaurus 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 4:29

It's supposed to be good luck!

lolretard 0

Sunday 26 February 2012 20:24

Shit happens ;)

UmbreonKirby 14

Wednesday 30 October 2013 0:07

Irony has no shame

ArticFlare 12

Saturday 8 March 2014 16:44

YDI for spending 90$ on hair

Awkward_is_me 1

Thursday 17 April 2014 2:00

$90 on your hair...you have got to be kidding me...

nanner6206 24

Friday 24 June 2016 10:03

sorry OP... that sucks. FYL. I once was dive-bombed by a bird as I walked passed a small tree just off the sidewalk. He pecked my head and stole some hair. fml2

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Exhausted Intimacy Sex Money

The Top

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died" right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 654

You deserved it 3 693

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 937

You deserved it 6 045

The Top

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 579

You deserved it 3 301

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 002

You deserved it 72 210

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 625

You deserved it 3 111

Today, I work as a cashier, and as always, I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I received a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 2 832

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 722

You deserved it 2 774

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 461

You deserved it 3 089