Work: Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 803

You deserved it 20 724

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Same thing different taste

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 219

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 461

The pirate look

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 5 977

Would I lie to you?

By sarika - 24/07/2015 00:12 - United States - Appleton

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 994

You deserved it 2 385

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 238

By fuckmeintheeyewitharing - 03/07/2016 12:52 - United States - La Mesa

Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 807

You deserved it 1 396

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 05:07 - United States

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 684

You deserved it 7 354

Looks good

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 20:12 - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 832

You deserved it 3 332

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 195

You deserved it 8 971

By creepyeyes - 21/06/2009 18:37 - Canada

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 002

You deserved it 68 590

chilearmy123 4

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:05

Arghhhhh

LaColombianita 26

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:08

That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.

Comments

asselhoff 5

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:04

First and lol

The_Hitdude 12

Thursday 5 April 2012 10:29

#1 That's probably the sound she made when she got the superglue in her eye! Don't you love irony?

The_Hitdude 12

Thursday 5 April 2012 10:31

#1 That's probably the sound he made when she got superglue in her eye! Don't you just love irony?

chilearmy123 4

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:05

Arghhhhh

Miss_Kristen 10

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:13

I bet the old pirate is so happy to have you in the office now!

iliketofu 6

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:28

I really hope you're a girl.

waresjake 3

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:33

Argh, I still love Yee OP

j_cat187 19

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:33

Yo ho a pirate tis thee, You are a pirate!!

shanemaximo 7

Thursday 5 April 2012 10:01

The boss was probably impressed seeing what length you go to in order to really sell an excuse for being late.

Wederoney 16

Thursday 5 April 2012 19:33

Yohoho and a bottle of rum!

RochelleRedvines 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 23:33

I wish I had an excuse to wear an eyepatch.

mockingjaygirl16 8

Friday 6 April 2012 4:54

Oww!!!! that sounds really painful.

LunaDragon 10

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:05

That's badass, I wish I could be pirate!

LolUnlucky 12

Thursday 5 April 2012 10:03

Put superglue in your eye :)

LaColombianita 26

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:08

That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.

Jkolbly 11

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:09

For some reason this makes me think of spongebob.......

on_the_flip_side 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 18:19

Me too!!

skygirl_01 5

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:09

at least you're popular at your new job already? :)

babe7260 30

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:45

No shit

Jakesterk96 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 22:31

False poop.

kakarot2 11

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:12

EYE!!!!!!!

DirtyMike911 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:13

I come to plunder all yer booty!

Torva_fml 16

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:57

Just thought of buttsexpirate, lol. :)

littlem91 29

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:16

This has to be made up, how would you get the glue in your eye of all places? Fingers yes, eye no.

dbt88 15

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:17

I wondered too. Sucks anyway but still wondering.

littlem91 29

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:23

To reword my moderated comment, I was wondering how somebody would get Superglue in their eye, as fingers seems normal, eye less so.

j_cat187 19

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:35

Dude what did you say?

wittygirl 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 8:17

You know you were late. Technically they can fire people for tardiness, at least that didn't happen. I'd prefer the eye issues and a nickname then no job.