Miscellaneous: Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's...

By Anonymous - 24/03/2012 22:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 983

You deserved it 4 556

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Same thing different taste

By imfromtexas02 - 06/06/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 438

You deserved it 12 634

By Anonymous - 28/10/2013 22:39 - United States - Slippery Rock

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 504

You deserved it 4 253

By JustWashedTheseJeans - 25/10/2016 01:05

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 196

You deserved it 1 929

By s3xygrandpa - 06/11/2013 19:09 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 738

You deserved it 5 123

By Anonymous - 08/03/2013 11:29 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 298

You deserved it 2 930

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 15:47 - United States - Cabot

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 266

You deserved it 2 892

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 251

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 545

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 2 798

By Hot Pants - 01/12/2011 17:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 5 814

lolipop1234_fml 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:33

Well thank you 16 for replying instead of just pressing thumbs down.

TheRealBrianGrif 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:22

Was it a story about meg?

Comments

jaredofmo 22

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:39

You should have started with something lighter. Like Jack Snow.

French_Toast_fml 3

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:40

You're not cool unless you pee your pants.

Bladian 5

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:50

Seriously? His writing is eerie, but if it makes you wet your pants you have bigger issues.

ddeathbombb 5

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:51

That story must be scary as hell

MargieDrury 1

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:04

Can someone tell me one of h.p. Lovecraft stories are the best?

OffToTheGayBar 9

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:38

The Call of Cthulhu and At the Mountain of Madness.

MargieDrury 1

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:53

Thanks!

TheDrudgeChild 4

Sunday 25 March 2012 17:21

Haunter of the Dark and Shadow Over Innsmouth are great too!

KaelaKhaotic 5

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:10

Who knew literature can be this life changing?

TheDrudgeChild 4

Sunday 25 March 2012 17:23

People who have read Lovecraft sure know. :)

metalflower01 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:12

Lovecraft is the shit!

fletchdawg 2

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:14

I legit don't get it I googled it and he's an author who wrote horror and wierd fiction will someone please explain

allonblack 4

Sunday 25 March 2012 6:20

I legit don't understand how you can be that dense.

aruam365 24

Sunday 25 March 2012 6:28

43- IT....SCARED....THEM.

ThinBlueLine466 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:27

That's piss poor

linkinpark98 23

Sunday 25 March 2012 4:32

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. :/

Mearemoi 14

Sunday 25 March 2012 15:02

But he wasn't pissed off...

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The Top

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 537

You deserved it 15 219

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 2 309

The Top

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 178

You deserved it 25 874

Today, I started yoga to help with my stress and overall health. I also got a "hit by a truck" migraine in the middle of my second downward dog pose, and spent the last 20 minutes of the 30 minute lesson curled up in fetal position on my new yoga mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 107

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 089

You deserved it 373

Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 398

Today, in the fitting room at Old Navy, a customer asked me if we sold Calvin Klein jeans. I replied "no ma'am, this isn't a department store, we only sell Old Navy jeans." She left, and complained to my manager, who informed me that "the customer is always right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 428

You deserved it 3 808

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 497

You deserved it 3 051

Same thing different taste

Night terrors

Night terrors

Fast and Furious

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