Intimacy: Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck....

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 28 785

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Same thing different taste

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 200

You deserved it 44 960

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 117 398

Turn on

By bodyelectric - 13/04/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 769

You deserved it 9 765

By Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 13 389

First time?

By kelscait - 01/07/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 57 428

By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 8 629

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 928

You deserved it 5 123

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 470

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

VoteForTaco 8

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:49

That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)

savemycookie 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:46

Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...

Comments

ozzy2005 0

Friday 16 December 2011 18:40

You know they make Altoids for that right?!

cybermolly10 7

Saturday 17 December 2011 1:36

I used to have terrible breath until I started using a netti pot. If you have a post nasal drip, that could solve the problem.

amsalwajih 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 4:57

Well u know what to get him for Xmas :P

linkmax 15

Saturday 17 December 2011 13:07

Brush your teeth.

z_impaler 4

Saturday 17 December 2011 23:25

Here are a couple of life hints. FLoss your fukkin' teeth - every day!! Then brush them at LEAST twice a day! Did you know that people who don't floss have a higher rate of heart disease?? Google it! People can't always help how they look but they CAN do something when it comes to hygiene!