Intimacy: Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck....

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 28 785

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 200

You deserved it 44 960

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 811

You deserved it 117 398

Turn on

By bodyelectric - 13/04/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 769

You deserved it 9 765

By Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 13 389

First time?

By kelscait - 01/07/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 57 428

By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 8 629

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 928

You deserved it 5 123

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 470

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

VoteForTaco 8

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:49

That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)

savemycookie 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:46

Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...

Comments

Squeaky_Tomato 14

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:08

We have amazing inventions called a toothbrush and toothpaste. You can google how to use them. Also buy some mouthwash. Brush your teeth and use mouthwash 3 times a day. Your breath won't smell and your mouth will be healthier.

causticgirl 6

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:09

Ouch. Tic tac? Fresh breath always gets you more.

texas_redneck88 10

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:45

YDI, brush your teeth more often, use mouth wash, and pop the occasional mint here and there

hackaypreeseh 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:58

Hint hint

mojo5678 5

Thursday 15 December 2011 20:36

Whata bitch

nikkij1988 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 21:12

Lmmfao!!!!!!!!!!!

thecovert 7

Thursday 15 December 2011 21:54

Brush your teeth. Mouthwash. Mint??

uprising_fml 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 22:15

that's so unnecessary and immature . OP is a big boy, I think he can handle the tip from his girlfriend and simply chew a piece of gum . don't be a dick about it .