Miscellaneous: Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 6 679

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Same thing different taste

By IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 002

You deserved it 5 813

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

Not under my watch!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 22:00

Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 202

By AlienZ - 12/04/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 255

You deserved it 44 028

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 115

By -.- - 13/04/2014 22:16 - United Kingdom - Epsom

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 305

You deserved it 5 216

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 537

You deserved it 11 128

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 184

Not the best reaction

By Mark - 31/08/2021 15:01

Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 235

By Alexis - 26/08/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 3 234

Next

Top comments

lol_ironic_life 9

Friday 16 December 2011 11:57

You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!

EddiE_CN 8

Friday 16 December 2011 11:56

Don't visit him when you are on leave

Comments

thejedi08 10

Sunday 18 December 2011 10:01

doesnt he know that the military turns ******* into assholes and dicks?

mbot20 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 17:41

Your dad is an asshole... No wonder you rather leave the to the army than stay home...:/ sorry

djjaxon2001 4

Monday 19 December 2011 4:27

Wow nice dad u hav there. Just sayin

msboy123 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:43

Challenge accepted.

newburton13 26

Saturday 7 April 2012 23:54

And in your will, because in the military death is a strong possibility, make it so he doesn't get shit.

AliceInMe 4

Wednesday 18 April 2012 5:16

Though I don't agree with what our country chooses to fight for, the fact that you even considered joining in the first place makes you, well not a pussy at all.

grayeyedmarine 14

Sunday 26 August 2012 2:49

The army would take a pussy its all they're made of. The Marines would laugh you out the recruiting office

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Wednesday 28 August 2013 21:03

and you know that how gold digger?

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Tuesday 7 October 2014 2:41

annnnd how do you know that? lol you're not even fit for p.e class anyways lawlz

SuicidalShooter 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 1:13

hey sounds like my asshole of a dad

doglover100 28

Sunday 28 October 2012 4:03

Your dad sucks. Thank you for wanting to serve our country.

rougeunicorn03 17

Friday 20 September 2013 15:12

Join the army. Prove him wrong.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 734

You deserved it 8 523

Today, at work, the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 570

You deserved it 3 250

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 153

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 442

You deserved it 65 830

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 081

You deserved it 2 675