Miscellaneous: Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 6 679

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 002

You deserved it 5 813

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

Not under my watch!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 22:00

Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 202

By AlienZ - 12/04/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 255

You deserved it 44 028

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 115

By -.- - 13/04/2014 22:16 - United Kingdom - Epsom

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 305

You deserved it 5 216

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 537

You deserved it 11 128

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 184

Not the best reaction

By Mark - 31/08/2021 15:01

Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 235

By Alexis - 26/08/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 3 234

Next

Top comments

lol_ironic_life 9

Friday 16 December 2011 11:57

You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!

EddiE_CN 8

Friday 16 December 2011 11:56

Don't visit him when you are on leave

Comments

newlove_fml 0

Friday 16 December 2011 13:31

That's unfortunate. Well, now you have another reason to join: proving him wrong.

prozacdemonbitch 0

Friday 16 December 2011 13:40

Take that a motivation to prove his ass wring and make the best of it and tell him to shove it up his ass

Joey44 15

Friday 16 December 2011 13:50

Wow. Your dad's an asshole.

Kelita 0

Friday 16 December 2011 16:04

His dad knows him better than we do so he is saying it for a reason.

Airman1988 9

Friday 16 December 2011 13:51

If you want to go for the education&technological benefits go Air Force, if you want to become a battle hardened bad ass go Marines, if you like the water go Navy or Coast Guard, if none of the others will take you, there's always the Army! lol :)

Awahso 25

Friday 16 December 2011 15:43

Semper Paratus!

noncom 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 0:04

#81 That is actually latin for " Always Prepared". Learn your Latin Phrases.

bocshi83 1

Saturday 17 December 2011 5:56

HOOAH!!!!

TheNewGuy03 28

Saturday 17 December 2011 23:11

155 -- I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but "Semper Paratus" is the Coast Guard's motto. |the kid|

USMC1992 0

Friday 16 December 2011 13:58

Glad I joined the marines

Steve95401 49

Friday 16 December 2011 14:05

Thank you for serving our country.

stevenmx86 7

Friday 16 December 2011 14:13

Ydi for being a pussy..

jaccq 2

Friday 16 December 2011 14:19

at least you wont cry if your mum sold away your star wars collection!

van_helsing 6

Friday 16 December 2011 14:21

Don't ask others for acceptance or permission. Don't ask what they think. It's your choice. Just go to the recruiter and sign up. Of course, don't sign up to the military just because you want to prove something to others.

JAMiiEC14 5

Friday 16 December 2011 14:23

JOIN!!! im medicaly unfit but ive always wanted to join and im going to try even thought they take one look at my criminal and medical record and they will say no

causticgirl 6

Friday 16 December 2011 14:23

If its what you really want to do with your life, take that negativity and make it work for you. The military can make any boy a man

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 714

The Top

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 738

You deserved it 4 618

Today, my girlfriend of three and half years broke up with me, just after I'd finished fixing up her house, which took me about three and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 684

You deserved it 6 029

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 050

You deserved it 3 235

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 3 339

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 846

You deserved it 2 701

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 212

You deserved it 2 757