Miscellaneous: Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 6 679

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By IMSERIOUS - 22/01/2014 19:23 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 002

You deserved it 5 813

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

Not under my watch!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 22:00

Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 202

By AlienZ - 12/04/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 255

You deserved it 44 028

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 115

By -.- - 13/04/2014 22:16 - United Kingdom - Epsom

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 305

You deserved it 5 216

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 537

You deserved it 11 128

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 184

Not the best reaction

By Mark - 31/08/2021 15:01

Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 235

By Alexis - 26/08/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 3 234

Next

Top comments

lol_ironic_life 9

Friday 16 December 2011 11:57

You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!

EddiE_CN 8

Friday 16 December 2011 11:56

Don't visit him when you are on leave

Comments

AirborneArmy13B 0

Friday 16 December 2011 16:18

Doesn't matter if you are one. The army will help you, not kick you out if you give it 100%. Serve. It's worth it.

kristina1124 3

Monday 19 December 2011 4:55

Ur cute!

allarmy323 0

Friday 16 December 2011 16:20

They will take u not saying your a pussy but if your healthy and no criminal record. Come on in always nice to have another brother in arms. Just go active best way nowadays. Just don't come to ft Stewart

hateevryone 14

Friday 16 December 2011 16:37

you can still join the military. screw you dad

ScarletBloom 14

Friday 16 December 2011 16:38

I thought they accept ******* as well?

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Wednesday 28 August 2013 21:00

*****

dhardesty23 8

Friday 16 December 2011 16:38

prove him wrong. I respect your possible decision

darkinners 6

Friday 16 December 2011 16:49

your father was testing you and you failed!! prove him wrong next time

Zeronos 0

Friday 16 December 2011 16:57

Go home and be a family man.

brick_man33 14

Friday 16 December 2011 17:02

father's do know best, go enlist instead of posting it on fml.

mattorama 15

Friday 16 December 2011 17:17

Don't listen to him. Not everyone in the Army is John Rambo! There's more people in support and intelligence roles than on the ground. Military is a good career choice.

spongebob1990 3

Friday 16 December 2011 17:21

I said the same thing to my brother soo he wont join airforce i wanted him to be a marine

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 464

You deserved it 4 611

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 519

You deserved it 11 330

Today, we drove six hours to get to our holiday cottage only to realise that my girlfriend had forgotten her suitcase. This put her in a bad mood, so she made ME drive six hours back to her flat to get it, then when I got there, I realised HER keys to HER FLAT were still in HER handbag six hours back at the cottage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 309

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 529

Today, I realized my life is very similar to my dad’s, except I’m only 55 and he’s almost 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 229

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 643

You deserved it 3 815