Health: Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell...

By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 5 556

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 558

You deserved it 26 370

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 3 382

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 226

By mrsfantastic - 12/09/2010 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 588

You deserved it 6 504

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 4 185

By Noname - 19/02/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 336

You deserved it 8 687

Punned

By 4fingerdiscount - 13/09/2016 11:07 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 418

You deserved it 1 921

By blank - 21/07/2010 13:52 - United States

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 4 122

Loser

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 01:00

Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 234

By humanchewtoy - 07/07/2018 20:30

Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 938

You deserved it 498

Lilbabynid3 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:01

So did you send one?

pointless07 1

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:01

douche.

Comments

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:10

Rules are rules

WazUpItzRyan 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:11

4chan logic

MourningLight 2

Friday 30 December 2011 10:33

Rule 1 & 2.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:11

Text? Does no one actually CALL anyone anymore?

every1luvsboners 11

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:22

With the whole "anxiety" issue plaguing the world no one wants to get THAT personal.

Arxikist 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:39

Don't worry Doc I'll send you a telegram.

flockz 19

Thursday 29 December 2011 20:10

*dusts off rotary phone* doc, what's your code again?

downtime 12

Thursday 29 December 2011 23:55

I call people lots of things.

afulks78 11

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:11

Sure that's rude. But it's clever. ...

TheGothGamerGirl 20

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:17

I guess it didn't happen.

Regmeister 10

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:17

He just needed proof, but didn't know how to ask otherwise! But that's a rather unfortunate area to be bit in...

Awsumuzzie 12

Thursday 29 December 2011 21:01

Yeah, imagine how excited the doctor is, though. Male or female... I for sure would bounce and jiggle with joy.

Cami15 6

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:25

Clever bf you got there

Mr25_fml 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:26

did you send it?

hateevryone 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:28

he's a damn jerk. if he really want proof, he should go to the hospital & see for himself.

misfitmonroe 4

Thursday 29 December 2011 19:28

Wow. He sounds like a winner..T_T

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, I was food shamed by my boyfriend in front of an entire restaurant and his parents because my meal cost more than his. His mom chimed in saying her meal usually costs more than his step dad's too and not to be upset. I'm 8 months pregnant, of course mine costs more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 958

You deserved it 1 441

Today, they've been building a house next door. I went to wash and wax my car, and I was back home for only 10 minutes before a Bobcat digger backed into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 66

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 080

You deserved it 4 722

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mom stared at me throughout dinner before finally blurting out, "I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you look just like his ex!" It turns out I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 71

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 11 935

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 818

You deserved it 53 147

Same thing different taste

Punned

Loser

Top comments

Comments