Miscellaneous: Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's... - FML

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 27 874

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Same thing different taste

Hi how are you?

By KereKris - 17/06/2020 14:05

Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 450

Just ignore it!

By nothing like tasty asshole - 26/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 596

By in big trouble - 23/08/2014 12:28 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 394

You deserved it 25 976

LOL

By iPhonekid - 27/05/2012 07:19 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back, saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 479

You deserved it 7 858

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 31 993

By nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 208

You deserved it 30 066

By kb - 10/01/2015 14:35 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 700

You deserved it 22 315

Slipping up

By englishfail - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 495

You deserved it 48 470

By randomgirl - 07/01/2012 14:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 111

You deserved it 14 827

By Dave - 19/12/2018 18:00

Today, I said to a girl that I recently started dating, ‘I like you so far’. My phone had other plans and decide to autocorrect far to fat as I hit send. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 718

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Top comments

youdidwhatnow 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:04

Lmfao. Maybe she can join?

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:06

Why would you text someone telling them you'll kick your professor's ass, anyways? Licking sounds much more erotic :)

Comments

perdix 29

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:07

That really is a smart phone. You can't get a grade raised by kicking a professor's ass (you'll probably get expelled and arrested), but by licking ass, you can get an "A." The phone is smarter than you!

Ajjas013 6

Wednesday 10 February 2010 4:31

Or you could be sued for sexual harassment and sent to an asylum and given some seriously strong meds that make you kookoo... I'm just sayin'

5upernova 3

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:07

I don't know if it is worse for your girlfriend if your professor is a man or woman.

limyechan 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:08

if you were careful and knew how to type you wouldn't have this problem.. it's your own fault!

Daltaliciousss 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:09

hahaha

FYLD0UCHE_fml 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:10

Today, I made a slight and obvious mistake while texting, and it will be a running joke for my girlfriend and me and will enrich our relationship. FML

SpamAIot 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:11

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aback 4

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:23

Your phone knows the sad, sad truth.

ShakingSumBOOOTY 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:25

STOP LYING YOU LIKE LICKING SOME MALE'S ASS HAHAHAH

abcdefghiloveyou 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:26

Ugh... this reminds me of someone I know who likes getting his ass licked. :(

Loveya448 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 2:34

Ahaha, that made me laugh.

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Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 80

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

Today, I helped my children dye Easter eggs. They did great. My husband, however, is covered in dye spots and glitter from "helping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 368

You deserved it 628

Today, I’ve been depressed lately and can’t get motivation to clean. My husband helped me clean, while he continued to complain how I should've done this while I was off work. My depression is from his meth use, dating websites, porn, and lying to me about it for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 318

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 169

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 874

You deserved it 5 374

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 909

You deserved it 4 191

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 571