By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 291
You deserved it 40 629

Same thing different taste

Top comments

dump the bitch before you loose a ********(s). if she can't take a little joke like that then she is disposable move on to something else

Reyo 2

Wait, why the **** does he deserve it? Are the Femanazis on the rampage again? I just can't see how "kicking you in the nuts and possibly hurting your chances of reproducting" is a logical way of getting back at someone for "touching your back with cold hands". I bet you're the types who think hitting your husband with a frying pan is a valid way of getting back at him for tickling you. OP, go for her left tit when she's asleep. A god old fashioned hammerfist'll do the trick. (now watch this comment get burried.)

Comments

perdix 29

That's why God (or evolution) gave you two of them -- so you could lose one doing something stupid and still have one working one left. Smarten up or that right nut is going to be gone soon. Just for fun, you ought to take your girlfriend to see "The Nutcracker."

Do NOT touch a girl with cold hands, they are allergic to that! Her reaction might just have been a reflex. YDI

Obviously you didn't read the fml correctly. He stated that she kneed him as he was trying to fall asleep, bot right after he touched her back. She waited for him to go to sleep when he was vulnerable.

Reyo 2

You'd be right, but it's a bit of a streach to assume that he both thought it up, and enacted the "prank" while trying to fall asleep. I don't know about you, but I'm too busy thinking about SLEEP to formulate something like the OP did. What most likely happened is the OP did the prank, said "HAHA k g'night" and his girlfriend decided to get back at him by kicking him in the nuts... ...unless...do YOUR hands make themselves cold, touch someone's back, and make it seem like it was a god idea all by themselves? If so, I'd seek help.

perdix 29

or drops. That is, if you watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve with Dick Clark and Ryan Secrest."

He deserved it? He was being playful, and she totally over reacted. Whaaat a ****! All you who clicked YDI, *****! Also, girls will never, ever in the heir life know the pain of getting hit in the balls. Yeye birth but thats cause of tearing of flesh and skin, could as well of said "yeah try having your arms chopped off". Not the same thing. And ive talked to girls about this a lot, they all get pissed when they get my point lol :) Im talking about the pain that you get from the smallest thing, and how intense the pain is. Not the same thing as pushing out a baby, that have obvious pain factors.

Actually, getting hit in the **** during "that time of the month" is fairly similar. Even just brushing a girl's breasts right before and during her menstrual cycle can cause extreme pain and soreness. Menstrual cramps can also cause vomiting, tachypnea and/or wheezing (due to pain), and extreme pain...similar to what a chop to the nuts would cause. I'd say it's both YDI and FYL. YDI because if you **** with someone, you gotta expect SOME sort of retaliation. FYL because a knee-chop to the jewels is an unproportional response to getting your back iced with your boyfriend's hands.

Veritas143 0

No matter what either side will never be able to tell how similar that are..except i guess if you are born as a guy and girl..even then things could be messed up...also men have a lower pain tolerence than woman which most people don't know. If a guy and a girl are inflicted with the same kind of pain in most cases the girl will react worse while the guy will feel it more

janise 2

Actually hitting a girl in the ****** hurts just as much if not more than hitting a guy in the nuts. Most people just don't think of hitting or kicking a girl there. Also, comparing childbirth to getting hit in the nuts is like comparing getting a limb cut off to a small paper cut. Also research has shown women have more nerve endings than men so women feel pain more than men do.

You are mistaken. If you flick a man in the nuts, the pain is enough to cause him to vomit. Getting hit in the nuts can also be fatal if they are hit in the right area and the right speed. You have to realize that these are exposed organs that are completely unprotected... it's like taking a punch in the liver, minus the protective padding. Granted getting hit in the VaJayJay is still painful, it's just not the same.

I heard the testicles run away from you if you pinch and tug at the sac. Smart little guys... Also, I experience no breast tenderness during my period. I will say that getting punched directly in the boob does hurt like a bitch, but I doubt as much as balls, though. However... I know some girls with very sensitive breasts during their periods, so I would say... "maybe." And vaginas aren't that sensitive either. If they were susceptible to impact pain, we'd die as a species. Think about it. G-Spots/Female prostates... maybe, but how would you manage to kick there? Hymen, okay perhaps, but some girls don't feel anything at all, and afterwards there's only soreness and stinging for a while that you'll never have to deal with again, whereas a guy has his balls all his life. It's the clit that's sensitive, THAT is where all those nerve endings are, and getting hit in the piss hole and pelvic bone might hurt quite a bit too. I still doubt as much as balls, though. Well... I dunno. I guess it depends on the girl for the clit... but afterward I'm sure it'd actually feel good. I mean, when I get hit on the arm or something, usually after the initial pain goes away there's a warmth and sometimes a tingling. Warm and tingling clit.... hmm.... ... Of course I'm not about to punch myself in the crotch to test the theory out... But I still doubt it'd hurt as much as balls, and certainly it probably won't cause permanent damage. Our vulva was meant to withstand some punishment, remember.

#66, while childbirth is a hell of a lot more painful I'd assume, they aren't equal for a couple reasons. (a) There's an ultimate benefit to childbirth. There are no benefits to being hit in the balls. (b) How many times will you give childbirth? I guarantee most guys have been hit in the balls a hell of a lot more than most girls have given birth.

Actually that sort of just nullified your point. I mean, several times yet they're still okay and reproducing. That almost makes it sound less painful. They aren't equal, though, I'd agree. Another point: There's a lot of difference doing something on purpose that's dangerous or painful than being attacked on accident or on purpose, but either way still out of your control.

Giving birth and getting sacked are totally different. When a guy is hit in the testicles, it hurts in the gut. And it hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. Even just a small tap is enough to leave you feeling sick and sitting down for a while clutching your stomach in pain. The only reason to ever hit a guy in the nuts is if it is in self defense (and I don't mean "omfg that bastid touched me with his cold hands!", I mean more like "holy ******* shit that guy is going to steal/rape/kill somebody!" Girls, I don't know what you feel like after getting hit in the ****** (or boobs, but I don't imagine that being anywhere near as painful), and I would love if someone explained it to me. Testes is unbelievable pain from a little tap - let alone a full on knee - you feel sick in the stomach and have to sit down for a while or you risk puking. And no, I'm not just a pussy, yes I have been seriously injured with broken bones and cuts and whatnot playing sports and doing Judo. Getting sacked is the worst of anything.

No I kind of think you're a pussy if getting tapped hurts that much for you, balls or not. How can you have sex if you can't stand to be touched on the balls? How the hell do you even wear pants? I mean, that's kind of what your post implies lol I've luckily not been hit in the clit, ******, vulva, whatever, but I can describe the boob. Basically, it's like if a giant were to come by and grope you a thousand times too hard. Your entire boob feels like it's been busted. But that's if you actually get /hit./ I can smack myself right now, and while it does leave a little feeling of having just been bat at, it doesn't hurt. If someone were to come up and punch me straight on in the boob, oh my ******* god. And my breasts aren't even that sensitive. It does make me cough and groan. (Psst, by straight on I mean square right on it, right into the nipple, not from an angle or something). It's been a while since I've been hit, though, so maybe I've become more resilient. I doubt it hurts or did hurt as much as balls do, though, especially considering you can't slap balls without it hurting. It really makes me wonder why balls are so sensitive. That's where your seed is made, so why make it terribly vulnerable? I can't imagine how the days when we walked around naked must have been like. Though I must ask: What makes you think giving birth won't hurt into the gut? lol (If that's not what I meant, then remember your enter button next time)

greenfairy_fml 0

As a reflex or she did it on purpose? If it was on purpose...wow, what a bitch.

Purpose. She did it afterwards, as the guy was falling asleep.

youthink_fml 0

Psycho ****, same as all the bitches that said he deserved it. Leave her sorry ass.

love_is 0

if it was on purpose that is ridiculously harsh. she deserves a good nipple cripple!

This is my girlfriends favourite pass time. (I believe she has bad circulation) she always has cold hands!

txgirl09 5

Not a YDI but is seriously effing annoying when people think they're cute doing irritating shit like that. It just isn't endearing to me. And a seriously harsh response from her. I hope it was unintentional.