****.

WIN 

Neither extreme is the ideal. He shouldn't so flatly state that her looks aren't great nor should he be with her purely because of her looks. He's a moron.

NOT just cuz ur "hot"

He could just have simply meant that he could have had a hotter girl if he'd wanted one, not that he didn't find her in any way attractive.

If that's what he meant, he's still a huge clod. Imagine your SO telling you he could have a hotter person than you but chose to stick with you anyway. What kind of self-esteem problems you must have to feel all warm and fuzzy when hearing something like that. It's a total insult.

Were you there #40? Did the OP's boyfriend ever say she wasn't pretty? Did he even IMPLY it? No, he said that he cared for MORE than just her looks. Read, people!

#45 -- Please. YOU read. Of course he implied she isn't pretty. More than implied, actually. Look at the sentence structure of how the message was delivered.

I think your meter may be slightly off here, jewel. The tone is key here. He could've easily meant 'surely you don't think I'm with you just because you're beautiful because I'm not that shallow'. Hard to explain it via typing but when I reread it with sort of an indignant tone, it doesn't sound disparaging at all.

One of the cool benefits of life experience is being able to quickly decipher situations like this. It's all too clear that the guy is a jerk. My meter is riiiiight on.

I agree with IF. The fact is, a relationship built on looks alone isn't going to be much of a relationship at all. Two of the most gorgeous people in the world can get together, but if there's nothing else to it, someone's going to get bored and take off. Even great relationships require work to maintain, and with nothing else to go on, the physical attraction won't be enough to make it worth the effort. Maybe this OP was being an asshat, but it's just as possible that he was responding with outrage that she couldn't see the validity of his feelings. Assuming he's a shallow jerk based on one response to a question, without even knowing her motives for that question or the setting and tone, seems quite premature to me. Jewel, your own life experience may be leading you to a false conclusion here.

Maybe this OP's boyfriend* was being an asshat, I meant.

Jewelofagal (#40) - Actually, it means that he cares about more than looks. In your scenario it means that the guy cares more about his current girlfriend than any other offer. Why would that be an insult? Because he's admitting that his gf isn't the hottest girl in the world? Well, that's life, and it shouldn't mean he loves her any less. I also agree with Irish completely, it might be perfectly possible that the bf is a jerk, but based on this scenario we can't make that conclusion without some massive assumptions.

I keep wondering that myself.

He told her she was ugly.

37 - not really. He never directly said she was ugly. It could have been implied, depending on the tone of voice. Maybe he was saying that he's not shallow, and loves her because she's amazing, not because she's the most beautiful girl in the world, which she damn well could be. Aaaaand that's my two cents.