Miscellaneous: Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have...

By jkbeynon - 03/03/2013 04:18 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 811

You deserved it 3 627

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 6 206

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 128

By anonymous - 06/07/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 509

You deserved it 3 714

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 831

Rats!

By I’m screwed - 08/12/2018 15:30

Today, we’ve had a rat problem in our house for a few weeks. Recently I hid a bottle of booze in my room so my parents wouldn’t see it. But my parents saw a rat in my room and tore the whole thing apart to find it, eventually finding my bottle instead. I was literally ratted out by a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 2 761

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 172

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 137

SATAN!

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 02:01

Today, my nana tried to drown my pet rat because it's white with red eyes, and red eyes mean it’s Satan in disguise, and yet my mom still refuses to admit she needs to be in a nursing home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 07:46 - Netherlands - Overveen

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 207

You deserved it 3 781

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 561

You deserved it 4 839

Lucia_Malpense 14

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:14

How ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Devil lives in the basement.

HaneenDixon 16

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:19

Oh man! I can't believe your mom ratted out the devils hiding spot!

Comments

Lucia_Malpense 14

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:14

How ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Devil lives in the basement.

HaneenDixon 16

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:17

And that sometimes, he likes to chill under the beds..

Shmatterhorn 38

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:27

No, that's Basement Cat. Get your memes straight!

iAlissa 34

Sunday 3 March 2013 10:20

Memes have nothing to do with it?

GoodLookingGeese 10

Sunday 3 March 2013 10:26

Yes they do.

SillyGirl4602 23

Sunday 3 March 2013 10:45

11- People don't always make references to memes. I don't know if 1 was trying to or not.

kishorekumar_a 10

Sunday 3 March 2013 12:13

Yes, only Ghouls live in the attic.

braja3249 4

Sunday 3 March 2013 15:29

I don't get how this is an fml...

savannahfml 5

Sunday 3 March 2013 17:41

Lol

iAlissa 34

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:03

Well if it was referring to memes, I didn't catch on.

Lucia_Malpense 14

Sunday 3 March 2013 21:09

Lemme make this clear- no, I was not referencing a meme.

Kristoffer 35

Monday 4 March 2013 15:48

I thought the Devil went down to Georgia?

sorta_sarcastic 12

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:19

I think you're referring to the boogeyman #2.

SilentScreamer 12

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:20

#3.. Boogeyman.

lambda_fml 40

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:35

#6 Yeah that clears it up.

dancinwookie 21

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:35

How can we be so frightened as children of something with the word "boogey" in it? I hear an instant classic disco hit in my head...I've got the fever! So, anyway...

vocaloidtiger 12

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:37

6 - I'm not quite sure of what you were trying to prove there.

lambda_fml 40

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:42

#15 I think as both the comments were written within a minute of each other, #3 must have fixed her typo making #6 look like an idiot.

dancinwookie 21

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:48

I was referring to the boogie-man, but that flew over some heads. His smooth tunes just piss some people off, I guess! F-ing terrible sarcasm, people; learn to read it!

andyyroxx 20

Sunday 3 March 2013 9:54

Well what if we just didn't find it funny, 19? And you only got one thumb down...

KingCeltic77 18

Sunday 3 March 2013 15:38

No the Boogeyman lives in the closet.

strayaway 12

Sunday 3 March 2013 15:49

Nope it's from the exorcist

dancinwookie 21

Sunday 3 March 2013 23:18

#20- It happens. Sometimes my imagination gets the best of me. The thought of opening my closet to the boogeyman dancing to "Boogie Fever", wearing an afro and rollerblades, but should've just stayed a montage in my head...lesson learned.