By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 17:30 - Switzerland - Corminboeuf

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 750
You deserved it 3 767

Same thing different taste

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Which is worse? Realizing you don't like children and having them anyway to please someone and end up resenting the kid(s) or to just not have kids and disappoint your parents? I'm pretty sure it's the first one.

You and your partners decision, not theirs.

Comments

I read this as 'I don't really like chicken' and was confused as to why that meant OP hates kids

carcino 5

As someone who is pretty much asexual, I don't want kids and I have family members, including my mother, saying shit like this to me. It's a personal choice and neither you or I are obligated to make someone else happy and make ourselves unhappy for people that won't even be supporting the kid.

leogachi 15

@62 Being asexual has nothing to do with whether or not you want kids. I'm asexual and I definitely want to have kids someday.

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Speaking as someone who doesn't ever want children - for most of us, the right partner wouldn't want them either.

I met "the right partner" in my younger days. Not only did he turn out to be a major loser, I still hated kids and insisted that we both use contraceptives of some form if we so much as spooned! Kids are simply not an option to some of us, no matter what.

I find this just as annoying as like once you find the right person you will not be lesbian/enjoy anal sex/whatever

OP, my antagonistic feelings towards babies especially go beyond dislike. Ask your parents if they're willing to be surrogates and raise your unwanted kids for you. If they protest at all, tell them they're heartless for not wanting grandkids badly enough.

i thought i was the only one! I,too,hate babies.

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My maternal grandmother was an alcoholic, mean, and spiteful. She alienated her children, grandchildren, every relative, and every friend she ever had. She died alone (and possibly lonely) because of her actions and behavior. In contrast, my paternal grandma has more of a social life than I do. She has tons of friends not related to her whom she spends time with. Whether or not you're lonely in your old age has nothing to do with how many children or grandchildren you have. It's the kind of person you are and the life you build for yourself.

personally I think partner and friends and siblings will be a much bigger group of people than hypothetical grandkids

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89—I have a genetic kidney disease. It is the same disease that killed my mom, both of my aunts, my grandfather, and probably countless other family members. My brother was diagnosed with it about a year before my mom died and the amount of guilt she felt at knowing she passed it on to him was awful (I was diagnosed soon after she died). So, no, I don't want children. I don't want them to have to watch my health slowly disintegrate, all the while wondering if that is their future as well. But, sure, let's blame the media and bandwagoning for my own personal, private decision that does not affect you in any way. Having children doesn't guarantee you won't die alone (see my previous comment), and not having children doesn't mean you can't lead a rich, rewarding life with people you love and who love you. Again, your life is what you make of it. It is your choices, your actions, and your attitudes. If you go through life with such a judgmental, narrow, negative attitude, and believing that people owe you their time and affection, you may find yourself very lonely one day.

Btw, 89, my job is incredibly important to me, as is my social life. I'm a teacher. I've spent my entire adult life working with underprivileged children. I not only educate children, but I regularly feed them (with money out of my own pocket), by jackets and gloves in the winter when their own parents can't, listen to their problems, give advice, help them get help for drug/alcohol/mental issues, file child abuse reports that protect them from their actual parents, give them money for the bus so they don't have to walk through gang territory to get home, laugh with them, cry with them, visit them in the hospital when they are sick, and attend their funerals. So yes, my career, and the free time I have, are incredibly meaningful to me.

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leogachi 15

@100 That's the weakest argument for having kids that I've ever heard. Almost all living things on earth would greatly benefit from the extinction of mankind. We've reached the point in cognitive reasoning where we can make active decisions about whether or not we want to further an overpopulated

leogachi 15

@100 @106 species without relying on nature to make our decisions for us. If you want to let nature use you as a mindless tool, that's your decision, but nobody has to follow suit.

100—I'm glad you're ok with my decisions. But you've missed the point. Everyone should make the choices that are best for them. Not all genes need to be passed on. Not everyone should be a parent. If you want to have lots of children (and you can love and support them), great. That's your decision. More power to you. But if you're afraid of being old and alone, try living a more active, social life. Be kind to people. Volunteer. Get involved in things you're passionate about. Meet people with similar hobbies. Take classes. Find fulfilling work. Travel. Join clubs or sports teams. It doesn't matter if you're 13 or 80. Don't expect your children, grandchildren, or anyone else to make you feel good about yourself or take care of you. Be the kind of person who takes care of others and makes them feel good about themselves. Children or no, you are responsible for your own happiness. No one wants to be old and alone, but fear of being alone is a terrible reason to have children.

89, I don't have a social life, lol. I do have mental health issues that are hard to manage on a regular day, never mind what PPD would do, which seems inevitable given my tokophobia and disgust of children. So yes, freedom of choice in my life that would be hampered by kids is important to me, but it goes beyond some selfish desire to sleep in on the weekends, though that is a big factor for me as well!

The Earth is overpopulated by humans as is. Despite what society tries to shove down everyone's throat, it is not an obligation to have children- in fact, it would be a very bad thing if everyone alive were to have children before passing on, even discounting genetic disorders. Saying that people are in the wrong for not wanting to add to the issue is a load of bullshit, especially your defense of how "reproduction is the point of life." People are worth a hell of a lot more than whether or not they leave behind someone with half of their genetic code. By saying the point of life is to breed, you are saying that someone could spend their entire life working to improve the quality of life for people in need but if they chose not to have a kid, their existence was pointless. By your 'logic,' someone who impregnated multiple people and spent their entire life preying upon other people is a 'better' human that the philanthropist who chose not to have kids. If that doesn't seem wrong to you, your vision is skewed.

If someone who doesn't want children is coerced into having them, you think that kid is going to have a good life? I find it so incredibly selfish and arrogant people accuse others who don't want children of being selfish when they just recognize its not good for them. They could end up resenting them and what kind of life for a child would that be? Why would you ever wish that on a child? Don't give some bullshit like you tried either how we are supposed to reproduce, there's still MANY people who want children and MANY kids who need adopted. We aren't in worry of extinction.

tkeeton46 17

My parents didn't do that, they just try to make comments on it to try to get me interested. They have 4 daughters and only one wants biological children.

I have known for most of my life that I was born to be a mother. My husband has been through more rounds of chemo than years he has been alive so our chances of conceiving were not great. Despite that, we were blessed with a baby boy and he is the light of our lives...OUR LIVES, no body else's. Having children is not something that should be assumed or expected of anyone! It is a life long commitment that should not be entered into lightly. Nobody should feel they 'owe' it to anyone to have a child. And so what if you MIGHT change your mind? That is your choice and nobody's business.

I don't blame you OP. I don't want kids either. They're annoying, loud, needy, messy, and a HUGE financial burden. Yeah no thank you.

A deeply personal choice. I never wanted kids and at this point I am glad I never did. Every time someone ask why I don't like kids I reply."I like them fine. I just can't eat a whole one."

TheSulkingDead 14

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Even if it is too late biologically, adoption or fostering are always options.

Or not. The happiest, most fulfilled, active seniors I know are the ones who didn't have children.

I chose not to have kids. I'm old. I don't regret it for an instant.

You might say you don't want to kill a hooker now but when you get older you will regret not having strangled one with your bare hands and by then it will be too late. That's stupid, right? Why? Because you know you will never regret having not done it just like "we" know we will never regret not having had kids.