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By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 17:30 - Switzerland - Corminboeuf

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 760
You deserved it 3 769

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Which is worse? Realizing you don't like children and having them anyway to please someone and end up resenting the kid(s) or to just not have kids and disappoint your parents? I'm pretty sure it's the first one.

You and your partners decision, not theirs.

Comments

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Why does anyone think this is acceptable to say to a woman? If a man says "I don't want kids" no one bats an eye, but when women say it they automatically get told, "Oh, you'll change your mind one day" or "You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't have kids." No. Just ******* no. Women can speak for themselves and make their own decisions about their body and what comes out of it. Don't want kids? Great, glad you aren't going to resent a tiny human and **** them up for the rest of their lives with emotional issues. Do want kids? Good for you, you want to nurture someone into adulthood and see that they flourish into a productive member of society. Women get to decide what they want, and no one has a ******* right to tell them they're wrong (unless the decision is to murder someone else) for wanting it.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Squinch, I agree with everything you just said, and yet at the same time... go back to Tumblr. Can't stand that "No. Just no." shit and the over the top pissy attitude. Makes it hard to side with you.

#16 you're projecting a bit. You don't know if 11 said that just because you think OP is a woman. Man or woman I would have said the same thing because I've known men and women who have changed their minds about having children. Anyway correct me if I'm wrong but at least from my phone it says anonymous with no gender symbol so OP very well could be male.

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For some reason it cut my comment... "Maybe they'll grow on you"

Holy shit... Last try! "Maybe they'll grow on you"

18, first, I don't know how to work tumblr, unless it's a glass for alcohol. Second, I'm 'over the top pissy' because people say this kind of shit to my wife all the time and make her feel horrible about herself for not having a "motherly bone in her body." It's unbelievably naïve to tell a woman the decision she's made is wrong just because it doesn't fit with societal norms. It's 2015, for ***** sake. And 22, even if the OP is a male, it makes my sentiments no less true.

I'm with ya, squinch, all the freaking way. (except I drink my alcohol from the bottle)

Squinch, I completely agree and love your statement so much I want to have its babies...only I hate babies, always have, and always will. I'll clink alcohol bottles with you.

zeffra13 31

#18 It's a lot easier to side with her when you've heard the argument "you'll change your mind" enough times (regardless of your own gender). There's only so many times you can say no to the same thing nicely.

squinch is right. it's very easy to empathise when you have lived for so long with people, everyone from your family. to teachers and coworkers and even complete strangers, hearing the decision you have made about your body, and just assuming that you're wrong and you'll change your mind. like you're not capable of or even allowed to choose that for yourself. it's a really low key way of saying 'you are designed to produce babies and you will'. which is creepy and way inappropriate and pretty dehumanising.

Absolutely agree, ignore the "it'll be different when you've got your own" You wouldn't tell someone who didn't want a dog to get a dog because it'll be "different" so why do folk do it with kids?

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I know right? Dogs are so much better than humans.

TAntobella 14

Because they're both a commitment and it's a valid point - "I can't afford a dog" "I don't like dogs" "I don't have the time for a dog" - answers are all in agreement that you're making the right choice. However if you dare make the same comment about kids folks eyebrows go up, how dare I be a woman and not want to procreate, it's the only reason I have ovaries and a womb you know *sarcasm*

amileah13 26

There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. Would they feel the same way if you physically couldn't have kids yourself? Some people just aren't made to be parents, but it doesn't mean they'll be the best aunt or uncle out there! (Assuming there is siblings in the mix.)

UhHuhHoney 20

Don't worry. We are on the same boat (you and I). Nothing wrong with it.

I love most kids and kids love me (because I always have candy) (for my nephews) but it's up to my s/o. it's not my body that's at stake, after all. but I would hate to raise a kid in this evil world

Nothing wrong with that. Whether it's kids, a job or whatever never let anyone tell you how to live (unless of course you're a danger to yourself or others then you may want to listen). Seriously though OP it's your life. At the same time never say never. If you're young you may one day change your mind. Thanks okay too but do it because your heart tells you you're ready not because of outside pressure. Meanwhile of course make sure you're using proper protection and discuss this with any future serious partners because that's a major make or break in most relationships.

I've known ever since I was very young that I don't like and don't want kids. I think OP has probably given this enough thought if s/he has already decided to come out with the news to be absolutely damn sure...it's not a popular opinion. It's not to say that people don't change their minds, but on something as unnecessarily controversial as this issue, OP wouldn't say anything without certainty.

I was talking directly to OP not in general. Stop projecting your personal sentiments. Also I clearly said there's nothing wrong with not having kids. So your arguments are invalid.

You did, however, suggest that OP might change his/her mind, which my personal experience suggests is not the case. As someone who has been denied a sanity-saving sterilization procedure for all my adult life until now, I'm getting really sick of the "you may change your mind" argument, no matter how it's phrased.

Im the same. Im not motherly of me (maybe you're a man and aren't fatherly) and if i have a kid, yes i'll love it but i never asked for it and im stuck with something i never wanted. Its better to do what you want and be happy instesd of having kids to pleade your parents and be misserble for the rest of your lifd

I, personally, absolutely adore children. They are my whole life and I wish to have many of my own someday. However, I would never ever EVER say that someone is *heartless* for disliking or not wanting children. There are so many people who have children that shouldn't, and people who don't want children shouldn't be pressured into it just because it's expected by society. Do what you like OP, it's your life. If your parents wanted grandchildren that bad, they should have had more than one child. I hope you don't let yourself be pressured if you truly do not want to have children of your own.

I agree with everything you said except the part about if they wanted grandchildren, they should have had another child. If they really want to be "grandparents" they can volunteer at local children's hospitals, schools, orphanages, after school programs, library programs, etc.... There are so many ways to help children who don't have family support systems. Expecting your children to live the life you want them to live to satisfy your own desires seems selfish to me. Sorry, 36, I'm not trying to attack you (or even disagree with you—I actually wish more people had that attitude!). I understand the desire to pass on genes and family traditions, but there are a lot of kids who don't have extended families, or even regular families, who would love to learn some of those traditions and build some positive memories—positive things that *they* can share with their future families. There are many ways to create a legacy and they don't all involve having children or grandchildren.