Love: Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps...

By Sarah - 09/04/2015 20:24 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 011

You deserved it 5 482

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Wenny - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 421

You deserved it 2 978

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

About that...

By Gay younger brother - 30/06/2018 01:30

Today, my brother came out to our parents. They weren't super happy with it, but they said that it was ok since they still had a straight son. I don't know how to tell them that I'm gay too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 622

You deserved it 520

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 683

You deserved it 4 583

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 514

You deserved it 7 055

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 082

You deserved it 4 371

Assumptions…

By Singlelady - 21/09/2016 19:16 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 863

You deserved it 1 165

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 09:50 - United States - Southerly North Slope Bo

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 090

You deserved it 6 349

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 2 984

By lonleystoner91 - 03/09/2010 08:30 - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 043

You deserved it 7 645

luarasticks 13

Friday 10 April 2015 10:38

technically, the joke would still work with the classic rock, paper, scissors.

gracehi 31

Friday 10 April 2015 10:22

That sucks, although I'm guessing you don't.

Comments

SweetSoyMilk 6

Friday 10 April 2015 23:48

So. Did you play?

shemademedoit 20

Saturday 11 April 2015 4:28

when he's older .....she will never let you meet his girlfriend

capnbzarr 43

Saturday 11 April 2015 5:17

Kick him square in the rocks.

doesntlookIrish 9

Saturday 11 April 2015 5:19

Bros got no chill. Sorry about that. Pray that he matures.... If he doesnt just get use to it. It will get better.

NutellaBear 3

Saturday 11 April 2015 8:12

You have a cool little brother!

fml_user_314 6

Sunday 12 April 2015 4:53

scissors would still work in this situation...

KB503 15

Sunday 12 April 2015 6:23

Haha this is great

AphyTheBronette 15

Sunday 12 April 2015 8:30

Brings new meaning to scissoring ?

MrCantgetright 4

Sunday 12 April 2015 14:42

Should be "Rock, Paper, Fighting Scissors"

maddicraig66 5

Thursday 16 April 2015 4:55

Wouldn't Rock Paper Scissors still work since scissoring is how ya do it ??

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 107

You deserved it 3 775

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my Creative Writing teacher what an antagonist is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 182

You deserved it 308

Today, I'm jealous of people who get to hug. My mom has banned hugs in the house because of COVID-19, and the only person I've hugged in the last 6 months is my boyfriend. He's been away for work for the past month and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 426

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 373

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 013

You deserved it 295

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 138

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonald's drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I pulled out of the line, only to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 816

You deserved it 59 281