Miscellaneous: Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall...

By tammyg - 11/02/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 6 284

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Same thing different taste

By OutOfMyMind - 22/10/2013 00:12 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 877

You deserved it 12 060

Ambien nights

By Sleepless Dreams - 29/11/2016 04:42 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 140

You deserved it 703

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 3 438

The truth

By xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - 08/03/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 449

You deserved it 34 808

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 4 855

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 6 879

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 936

You deserved it 778

Don't do drugs, kids

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 17:43 - United States - Omaha

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some Adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 767

You deserved it 22 447

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 311

You deserved it 724

Recipe for disaster

By ApparentlyATerribleDaughter - 12/08/2018 15:00

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 399

You deserved it 209

KiwiBlam 4

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:34

Calm down everyone, just coz she's slept with more than one guy doesn't mean she's a ****. Don't be jealous just coz she's getting more action than most of you

rache8bab 1

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:15

awesome

Comments

heyheyt 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:09

ajjas you're really starting to annoy me :/

AngryNinja 1

Friday 12 February 2010 3:13

heyheyt, step off. no one tells my pimp he's annoying. ajjas, i got dis. ;)

Starfire22 5

Friday 12 February 2010 3:45

leave my puppy alone!

Ajjas013 6

Friday 12 February 2010 3:49

Starpower! You go girl :)

Fentown_fml 4

Friday 12 February 2010 3:10

Haha! Oh, that's great

heyheyt 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:15

okay, first by saying ajjas is your pimp your not cool so stop trying to be. and second, I can say whatever I wanna say

Ajjas013 6

Friday 12 February 2010 3:30

I didn't call myself a pimp O_O

AngryNinja 1

Friday 12 February 2010 3:48

hah.. someoe forgot to change their tampon.. or maybe it got stuck. jealousy = sickness.

xoxcinderellaxox 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:16

note to self: never take ambien!

Bokusui 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:24

The list must have been really long for you to complain about it :O.

iluvninjas 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:25

that sucks for the OP. what did your mom say when you told her this and being very descriptive??

heyheyt 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:39

I was talking to angryninja. she called you her pimp

Ajjas013 6

Friday 12 February 2010 3:47

Oh ok :) I'll go beat her now.

AngryNinja 1

Friday 12 February 2010 3:51

-.- *calls cops* hello? hi. he wants to beat me. what do i do? uh.. pop a cap in his ass! awesome. thanks. *click* *grins*

Ajjas013 6

Friday 12 February 2010 3:53

I PMed you Ninja! Answer meh!

what_the_fail 0

Friday 12 February 2010 3:40

YDI for sleeping with that many men. ****.

damnrosi 0

Friday 12 February 2010 15:32

she's not a ****. She just likes sex. There's nothing wrong with that, now stop being jealous because you're and ugly, fat, replusive, prick who'd give it out for free but still can't get any.