Miscellaneous: Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall...

By tammyg - 11/02/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 6 287

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By OutOfMyMind - 22/10/2013 00:12 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 880

You deserved it 12 060

Ambien nights

By Sleepless Dreams - 29/11/2016 04:42 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 143

You deserved it 703

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 323

You deserved it 3 438

The truth

By xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - 08/03/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 450

You deserved it 34 809

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 159

You deserved it 4 857

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 573

You deserved it 6 880

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 946

You deserved it 780

Don't do drugs, kids

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 17:43 - United States - Omaha

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some Adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 769

You deserved it 22 452

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 314

You deserved it 727

Recipe for disaster

By ApparentlyATerribleDaughter - 12/08/2018 15:00

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 404

You deserved it 211

KiwiBlam 4

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:34

Calm down everyone, just coz she's slept with more than one guy doesn't mean she's a ****. Don't be jealous just coz she's getting more action than most of you

rache8bab 1

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:15

awesome

Comments

Sirin_fml 46

Friday 12 February 2010 0:18

Over-the-top, hateful insults - and indeed death threats - are against site rules, Jenninsac.

LudicrousLadybug 2

Friday 12 February 2010 0:21

Ambien does that to ya.

EwigStolz 0

Friday 12 February 2010 2:50

Yo, where do they get these ****** these days? Fourteen and already knows all about Ambien. Shouldn't you be worried about whether or not you want to suck Jeremy's ****, not getting high after taking three ambiens, drinking two shots, and ******* all night. **** AMBIEN! Y'all should all be taking motion sickness with some sprite ;)

crackiebob 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:23

snickers I bet you ***** it up too

cam007_fml 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:24

I'ma throw it out, I'm a fan.

kemar7856 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:25

how many men were on the list

hi12345hi 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:25

http://ihatejade.com/?id=yirelwp52q8g591rzri7vevxjkw2wy hey go to this site

cam007_fml 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:27

@ Sirin, what exactly is an "over-the-top" comment?

DerangedFox 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:30

Awesome? Not really. I'm perscribed Ambien because it's the only sleeping medication that will knock me out. I know the side effects can be crazy. A lot of times even scary. Telling your mother about all your sexual encounters and when you not in a full state of conciousness is definitely NOT awesome. OP, what really sucks is that your mom just let you go on telling her these things when it's obvious you were on a drug. Trust me, it's not difficult to tell someone is on Ambien.

Sirin_fml 46

Friday 12 February 2010 0:35

An over-the-top comment should be pretty obvious. Assume it means pretty much every comment that's hate-driven, particularly ones that are based on the user's race, gender, sexuality, appearance, and in recent cases, even hair colour. Using racial epithets is NOT permitted, and I moderate every instance I see of them, without exception. Things occasionally slip through the net, though, which is why it's helpful if you report such things, either to me or to another moderator.