Love: Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative...

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 743

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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 602

You deserved it 4 901

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 518

You deserved it 38 444

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 961

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

By Anonymous - 20/05/2018 01:30

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 085

You deserved it 567

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 684

You deserved it 4 726

Could go either way, tbh

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 321

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 33 655

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:40

.... Conservative.... but she has cleavage. For some reason, this annoys me. FYL though. Better luck next time? At least you have a funny story?

hk_fml 9

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:39

Sexy!

Comments

Eresbel 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 2:47

There are a lot of liberals who believe in God or Allah or Yashua and not Buddhism or Hinduism. In fact, Hinduism and Buddhism don't automatically indicate liberalism at all.

MacFeat2010 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 3:03

I think this is the first FML ive seen from South Dakota. (and i live there!!!) haha. but anyways, FYL....hopefully she understands and everything works out between you two!

DameGreyWulf 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 6:31

http://www.fmylife.com/region/South%20Dakota

anon1131 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 4:32

just clarifying...Hindu's and Buddhists believe in God as well!!!

DameGreyWulf 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 5:16

Not the same god as Islam/Judaism/Christianity, though, obviously. And I'm pretty sure Hinduism believes in multiple gods, not just one. Not sure about Buddhism.

AquaticRobotics 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 5:46

She's got cleavage and has never kissed a guy before!? Impressive! =P

l33tm0nk3y 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 0:26

That kind of thing is more common than you might think. My first girlfriend was 19 when I first kissed her, and I was her first too. On an unrelated note, that has got to be the best/funniest awkward-first-kiss story I've ever heard.