Love: Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy...

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By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 890

You deserved it 5 903

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Same thing different taste

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

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By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

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By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

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You deserved it 1 526

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

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By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 766

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By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 520

You deserved it 67 476

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 508

You deserved it 6 594

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 2 057

By Charly - 05/01/2009 06:16 - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 3 392

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 133

ifuckingrock 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:31

Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.

WhyComplain 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:30

This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!

Comments

AppleOnaStick 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 20:39

Yeah thats not that bad, she said keep talking, so she probably enjoyed it, and people have to pee every now and then

partyboy9013 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 21:11

maybe she was just saying she had to pee but was really masturbating... that is definitely not a FML....

amazingkate 0

Friday 9 October 2009 7:10

when you gotta go, you gotta go. at least she wasn't bit in half by a t-rex.

derschadenfreude 5

Friday 13 November 2009 1:20

81, WIN. this will be my response to all fmls like these from now on. OP, you should be happy that she feels comfortable enough telling you that she's going off to pee, it's a huge deal for girls. She wanted to tell you why she wouldn't be responding for the next few minutes so your feelings weren't hurt, and told you to keep going because she liked what you were saying. this belongs over on mylifeisg.