Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not...

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By purplexangel - 02/08/2012 17:32 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 880

You deserved it 22 552

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Same thing different taste

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 489

You deserved it 6 970

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 2 601

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 369

You deserved it 9 863

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 009

You deserved it 48 806

My home hates me

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 257

You deserved it 4 333

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 296

You deserved it 9 816

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 268

By Icey_dan1 - 10/10/2010 15:16 - France

Today, I tried to jump through the closing train doors to make it in on time. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 818

You deserved it 27 639

No smoke, no fire

By justme - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 059

You deserved it 5 292

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 1 458

sporty1200xlr 6

Friday 3 August 2012 0:41

You would be a fun friend to mess with.

olpally 32

Friday 3 August 2012 0:45

That toester just trolled you... Lol. Toester-1 you-0

Comments

batrob 7

Friday 3 August 2012 9:17

YDI for not having a toaster oven. They are so much more useful

wolverine47 10

Friday 3 August 2012 9:21

That's very pathetic. Hereeeeee Come the down thumbs from all the other ******* who jump at the sound of a toaster

colonolSexy 2

Friday 3 August 2012 9:40

Mine does, still scares the shit out of me though....

fail_gurl21 7

Friday 3 August 2012 9:54

hahaha XD

spyydaboy 4

Friday 3 August 2012 10:10

Are you a dog? Why would you have to train yourself not to do that?

Mahtari 19

Friday 3 August 2012 11:34

You have much to learn, my young Padawan.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 3 August 2012 13:21

You tell me, Sir Lancelot.

Neorecon19 18

Friday 3 August 2012 13:34

You need more training, young Jedi.

megansays 2

Friday 3 August 2012 13:52

Can't say I haven't tried to "desensitize" myself to the toaster. It always kinda startles me. I guess that's the point. You know it's done when the toast pops out and you jump out of your skin for a moment.