Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took...

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 5 231

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 012

You deserved it 3 506

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 260

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 693

You deserved it 39 006

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 648

You deserved it 13 129

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 019

CyclonePsycho 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:37

At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D

lukewarmocha 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:33

naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.

Comments

Silent_Harmony 3

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:41

Good for you for trying to keep some STUPID drunk off the road You rock :D

drimpossible 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:45

Well done. I hope you hit her back.

RunZoneFive 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:50

A scar that will remind you you tried to do something good. Its more like a badge of honor

crazysk8guy 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:50

………………_„-,-~''~''':::'':::':::::''::::''~ ………._,-'':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::''-„ ………..,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ………,-'::::::::::::„:„„-~-~--'~-'~--~-~--~- ……..,'::::::::::,~'': : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : '-| ……..|::::::::,-': : : : : : : : - -~''''¯¯''-„: : : : : ……..|:::::::: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : : : '| ……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |' ………|:::::: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯| ………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~: : ''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: || ……..,~-,_/'': : : |: _ o__): : |: :: : : : _o__): ..| ……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„_____| ……..: : : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : : : : : ………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : : : ;: ,' ……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--|' ………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: : ………….'|: : : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: :: | …………..|: : : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : : | …………..|: :''-,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : …………..',: : :''-, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: ,' ……………| : : : : : : : : :_ : : : : : : : : : : ,-' ……………|: : : : : : : : : : '''~----------~'' …………._|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ……….„-''. '-,_: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ,' ……,-''. . . . . '''~-„_: : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'''-„ █▀█░█▀█░█▀█░█▀█░█▀█░█▄░█░█▀▀░░ █▀▀░█▀▄░█░█░█▀▀░█▀█░█▀██░█▀░░░ ▀░░░▀░▀░▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀░▀░░▀░▀▀▀░▀

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:31

Wow.

insanelyXnikki 18

Saturday 1 January 2011 11:14

I literally lol'd :D

itsnikk10 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:04

Let's hope your up to date with your rabie shots and what not

f033x 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:08

this is a blatant ripoff of another post. both are fake.

Sleepwalker418 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:21

Yes, it's obviously fake because no two people can possibly get bitten and get scars from it! /endsarcasm

danielleFML 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:10

can you press charges...?

angorashi 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:11

Feisty!

AngryC4t 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:11

Let drunk people drive home, it will get the stupids out of society.

diet_otaku 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:23

more often than not, when a drunk driver gets in an accident, the driver survives while the innocent people they hit die. so no, not a good idea to let drunks drive.