By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Spicy
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 405
You deserved it 7 943
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Dthsapprntc 23

You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.

267 3
Pleonasm 35

"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.

146 3

Comments

Dthsapprntc 23

You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.

267 3
Dthsapprntc 23

Nope. I always double check to make sure I **** the right pussy. That way I avoid any awkward and/or painful situations.

72 1
Dthsapprntc 23

Jesus, the new wonder drug from ACME Medicine. It cures any illness and makes your life better. It even turnes water to wine. Side effects include, but are not limites to, arrogance, ignorance, intolerance, hatered, holier than thou attitude, and a tendency to tell others that they need Jesus. ACME Medicine not liable for any bloodshed done while under the influence of Jesus. Yes, I'm well aware that I am going to Hell.

113 17
HockeyGirlLover 7

I give you a round of applause for this post

6 16
dachayke 16

Yes, quite a few protestants can be Jesus jerks at times, but there are also quite a few depressed, emo, atheists who shove their opinion in everyone's face and insult God and anyone who believes in him.

46 9
smokecloud_ 37

Pretty sure 47 was making a, very successful, joke. By the way, not all atheists are depressed emos while we're correcting stereotypes. ;)

27 5
Never_Land 10

Even being a man of faith I agree with you

8 1
tman1985 9

with all of the pussy comments, how in the hell is beaver supposed to get any recognition?

5 1
xerbrus 14

someone with the screen name fangirlingalways said we need Jesus...You know obsession is a sin right???

1 3
incoherentrmblr 21

The pussy is mad b/c he's not getting any pussy...

0 1
Pleonasm 35

"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.

146 3
Pleonasm 35

It's a minefield out here, and it seems that everyone is playing "Don't touch the lava." Seriously. Every single one.

34 3
dachayke 16

#51, I hope you have your username written down in case you accidentally sign out.

52 2
ruckfules85 34

Hes like "hell yeah. You ain't doing to this pussy what you do to that pussy."

18 52
CaptMurdock 25

Well looks like you might not be getting any friendly pussy any time soon.

5 50
gingaa96 18

Well I guess you're an idiot..

47 4
parism143 28

I don't think her pussy was satisfied with your actions!

20 42
cyttex 13

Every damn time there's a fml involving a cat..

25 1
parism143 28

I apologise, I wish I could delete it but sadly FML doesn't offer that option.

10 2
israelnotjacob 20

Does that really override the fact that you got some?

87 2
israelnotjacob 20

I normally hate that joke because it's so overused, but I think this time its a legitimate argument. I even am a cat person, but a cat hissing at me could hardly ruin a sexual experience.

14 3
perdix 29

If you want to dominate one pussy in a household, you have to dominate them all!

22 39
JaegerMayCry 13

I don't think I like where this is going....

36 1
perdix 29

#24, do you mean you don't like the puns, or that you'd prefer to be pussy-whipped?

14 22
Zelphoric 25

No im pretty sure he was talking about **********... Which is always a bad idea

34 2
sdroze1389 31

#39. he wasn't talking about **********, unless it's a story involving a donkey then the chances are high. Texas is close to Mexico....

6 20
1PersonIsMyWorld 22

not necessarily **********. ..its just showing animals who's boss...he didn't say **** the cat, just stand up to him/her. you cant let an animal dominate you.. thats where poorly behaved animals come from.

6 2
uoeno_fml 20

Doesn't matter had sex. Her pussy didn't respond well! There's some generics for ya

5 25