Intimacy: Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to...

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 410

You deserved it 7 945

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 6 498

By OnlyAvailableID - 08/02/2015 08:35 - Australia

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 074

You deserved it 3 682

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 956

You deserved it 6 207

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 516

You deserved it 4 197

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 495

You deserved it 4 512

By Anonymous - 25/05/2010 23:33 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 819

You deserved it 39 782

By sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 91 025

By S12Sophia - 02/05/2012 22:06 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 058

You deserved it 5 466

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 001

You deserved it 271

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 340

Dthsapprntc 23

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:00

You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:01

"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.

Comments

SuperMew 22

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:11

It sounds like the cat was scared by the noises you were making. I would start trying to associate yourself with things that are not dangerous or scary. Get a cat toy (a mouse on a string, something that keeps your hands away from him) and try to play with him. Ask if you can feed him treats when he sees you. The more he associates you with good things, the less likely he will be to savage you. Try also watching Cat from Hell, helped me with a troublesome cat.

Jesster22 3

Wednesday 22 January 2014 22:50

You Ma'am are the old lady with the cats

ExplodingNarwhal 8

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:11

At first I read girlfriend as grandma (/•_•)/ Ew.

dachayke 16

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:55

I feel so sorry for you!

McFlurzzXD 8

Wednesday 22 January 2014 4:29

niiiiiicee..... now I have that image in my head. FML

Readoll 13

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:14

Don't leave your clothes on the floor, the cat will start pissing on it

JMichael 25

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:17

No more pussy for you OP.

perdix 29

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:18

Plan A: Establish yourself as the alpha male by forcefully repelling the cat attacks until he becomes submissive and accepts your rule. Plan B: Antifreeze.