Intimacy: Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to...

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 406

You deserved it 7 943

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 495

By OnlyAvailableID - 08/02/2015 08:35 - Australia

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 072

You deserved it 3 682

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 953

You deserved it 6 207

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 4 197

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 494

You deserved it 4 510

By Anonymous - 25/05/2010 23:33 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 814

You deserved it 39 775

By sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 889

You deserved it 91 018

By S12Sophia - 02/05/2012 22:06 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 055

You deserved it 5 464

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 268

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 339

Dthsapprntc 23

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:00

You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 21 January 2014 23:01

"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.

Comments

thrallloc 2

Wednesday 22 January 2014 17:14

sometimes when you **** one the others are out to get ya.

Nicole819 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 17:39

jealousy's a bitch lol crazy coming from a cat though!

Mozes52771195 5

Wednesday 22 January 2014 19:54

Maybe the cat is pissed bacause you f*ck her better than he does. Be proud of that.

Xotoolyxo 16

Thursday 23 January 2014 5:16

Don't sleepover

icepick23 12

Thursday 23 January 2014 17:50

Who cares about her cat?

julia9902 8

Thursday 23 January 2014 23:11

Doesn't matter, had sex

W_Surgenor 7

Friday 24 January 2014 2:49

Dousn't matter had sex.

stiffster 5

Friday 24 January 2014 7:52

gotta look out for his own

RoaRawR 6

Thursday 30 January 2014 14:12

you stole the pussy from a nother pussy...

redmnky21 8

Friday 7 February 2014 7:06

get one of those feather toys and play with him and also ask to be the one who feeds him, he'll get over it

Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Jealousy Friends Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 9 654

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 057

You deserved it 55 282

The Top

Today, after five years of being with my boyfriend, I found out that he is apparently very xenophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 245

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 616

You deserved it 4 520

Today, I found out just how painful it is to get a cramp in your penis in the middle of sex, especially when your wife is on top and just has to keep going for a few more thrusts because she's so close to finishing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 180

Today, I had my first kiss. It would have been great if I wasn't playing spin the bottle as a 23-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 398

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 554

You deserved it 3 339

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 676

You deserved it 30 863

Same thing different taste

Sick move, bro

Top comments

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