Intimacy: Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying...

By neednewdeoderant - 14/12/2011 02:39 - United States

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 627

You deserved it 3 548

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Same thing different taste

By screwed. - 03/02/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 45 620

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 5 123

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 480

You deserved it 80 861

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 28 784

Multiusage

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 05:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 186

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 199

You deserved it 44 960

Strange Diet

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 18:00

Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 206

By Oops - 27/08/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 863

You deserved it 37 068

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 864

You deserved it 4 863

Volvo

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 19:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend has a genital wart inside her vagina lips that wasn’t there last week. I found it with my tongue. It did not feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 128

MerkathonPro 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:44

When I first read this, I saw "If she wasn't applying it to"... Is it wrong if I thought crotch first?

gunmania0 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:38

There are two ways you can get herpes... just don't let her give you a Blowie...

Comments

jman730 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 13:21

Fiji or Matterhorn?

kaykay20 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 13:37

Just to clarify herpes doesn't always show up in a test. The best way to determine if someone has it is if they have a outbreak. Op I'd keep a look out for them since they can spread to other parts of the body (so get a new deodorant). If it's herpes simplex one theirs only ointments at the store to treat it since its not as frequent or as sever as herpes simplex 2. Over time the ointments should help lessen the outbreaks.

ney89 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 13:56

You mean cold sores yeah? Not genital herpes

modernbenoni 8

Wednesday 14 December 2011 14:27

Cold sores are the herpes virus, just in a different part of your body... Genital herpes is just another instance...

jamesrod885 6

Wednesday 14 December 2011 14:22

get off of fml and ask her what's going on

loserman67 35

Wednesday 14 December 2011 14:38

And you believed that? OKAY................ does Google say anything about it hiding **** breath from giving random guys knobbers? Maybe you better think about that one.....

perdix 29

Wednesday 14 December 2011 15:02

You are just in denial, buddy. Yes, herpes is bad, but cockal stinkage is even worse. Before you walked in on her trying to get your scent off her lips, you missed that she had just gargled Drano.