Intimacy: Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying...

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By neednewdeoderant - 14/12/2011 02:39 - United States

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 635

You deserved it 3 549

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Same thing different taste

By screwed. - 03/02/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 420

You deserved it 45 627

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 948

You deserved it 5 130

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 484

You deserved it 80 881

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 459

You deserved it 28 796

Multiusage

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 05:00 - Poland - Poznan

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 187

Fresh mints

By Julian - 22/12/2008 07:45 - France

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 201

You deserved it 44 974

Strange Diet

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 18:00

Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 207

By Oops - 27/08/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 863

You deserved it 37 072

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 373

You deserved it 4 965

Volvo

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 19:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend has a genital wart inside her vagina lips that wasn’t there last week. I found it with my tongue. It did not feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 135

MerkathonPro 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:44

When I first read this, I saw "If she wasn't applying it to"... Is it wrong if I thought crotch first?

gunmania0 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:38

There are two ways you can get herpes... just don't let her give you a Blowie...

Comments

Chavez45 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 0:05

Dude do yourself a favor and get checked lol Then get her some meds and help her out

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 15 December 2011 0:16

Quickly! Speed stik 2 ur dick!

Art_Chick84 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 1:00

sorry dude

SAINTSFANUSA 3

Thursday 15 December 2011 1:24

Tell her you saw her & ask her why ... partners need to be honest even bluntly honest. If your Google search is her reason for doing so, tell her you know. It is pathetic that she put you at risk when it is very common to get a fever blister. Fever blisters are also easily treated. Odd that she would know to use such a thing... sorry but sounds like she has exposed others before. I would be scared at what else she may be hiding. Log off & go to your nearest hospital. Get a full battery of tests. Dump her butt for not being honest.