Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's... - FML

By Cody - 07/03/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 078

You deserved it 21 183

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Same thing different taste

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 943

You deserved it 5 941

By horrible daughter - 24/08/2013 10:23 - United States - Santee

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 033

You deserved it 8 434

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 2 049

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 139

Jumpy

By TheSentinel05 - 27/10/2020 12:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 225

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 446

You deserved it 14 433

By Sadasian - 14/08/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 167

You deserved it 4 118

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 750

You deserved it 5 970

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 1 844

Next

Top comments

texmas 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:37

Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.

Spinach 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:55

Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."

Comments

jafish16 0

Friday 20 March 2009 5:29

hahahhahaa. sorry. one of the funniest ones i've read today.

casheartsazxs 0

Friday 27 March 2009 8:52

the same thing happened to me! I was argueing with my dad for no keeping the promises he made, and he responded by yelling "Shit happens, LIKE YOU!" I feel your pain.

bassmaster_pat 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 21:04

mom is a ****. bitch slap her

Icalasari 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 1:43

I say YDI, only because she likely said it because she was upset with you

DarkestSaint 5

Saturday 18 April 2009 7:44

#12 its cutters emo is a genre of music cutters r the suicidal ones

SilenceOfTheLamb 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 3:37

that wouldnt be nice to your ears

dan81892 2

Wednesday 20 May 2009 22:53

OUCH

greeneggsnsam 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 5:41

ouchies

caretoshare 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:29

BITCH!!!!!!!

jtaylor991 6

Thursday 4 June 2009 0:58

I agree with #4 shes also an asshole

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 483

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 4 486

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 027

You deserved it 5 974

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 468

You deserved it 3 835

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 220

You deserved it 33 001

Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 1 789

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year-old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 532

You deserved it 3 861