Miscellaneous: Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer...

By bip - 15/12/2008 05:36 - France

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 880

You deserved it 57 443

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Same thing different taste

By PizzaPants - 29/02/2016 18:12 - United States - Denver

Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 710

You deserved it 2 030

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 10 661

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 6 689

By .. - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 4 121

By princess - 08/09/2018 13:00

Today, I accidentally touched a hot pan and, like any normal person would, jerked my hand back. My mom saw, yelled at me for being a "prissy princess" and then proceeded to stick her whole hand on the hot pan for a full 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 984

You deserved it 381

Kitchen nightmares

By Anonymous - 19/09/2021 00:30 - Australia - Mypolonga

Today, I dropped my phone in the frying pan whilst cooking my steak. I had to rinse off the oil immediately and clean the phone, then had to eat a cold steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 036

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 4 466

By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 17:18 - Germany

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 844

You deserved it 42 288

By My__life___ - 21/05/2014 00:53 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out that the built in lighter in my car does NOT in fact glow red when hot. I now have circles burned into my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 441

You deserved it 29 218

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 150

You deserved it 3 360

pinkfrenchrose 5

Saturday 14 March 2009 6:08

Now you can commit crimes without worrying about getting caught.

Sgt_Schadenfreud 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:00

It's a frying pan. What precisely were you expecting?

Comments

stephanie_nyc97 0

Friday 23 July 2010 19:35

lol, sorry about your injury :P

dai1227 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 6:29

you can steal stuff

angel55033 12

Sunday 7 November 2010 7:38

yes you do your skin grows back ya know lol

ALBATROSS9080 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:18

now your the perfect criminal!

angrydinosaur 4

Saturday 26 March 2011 16:17

well, if his fingerprints grow back, he could commit a crime and have them grow back, like "what do you mean! I have fingerprints!"

YourMotherWasHer_fml 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 4:16

You ******* moron . YES the pan is hot . Do you think the food cooks itself without heat ? -___-

survivalist 0

Friday 29 April 2011 6:39

ah lucky!!!! now u can rob a bank and nobody will know!!!! and nobody can track you

1234567789 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:30

do waz it hot?

extreemguy19 7

Tuesday 7 June 2011 5:10

dude..... da ****.

jdawg2010 0

Monday 20 June 2011 20:46

I no longer have finger prints so I can go rob banks and stuff without necessarily getting caught. FML this isn't an FML if you think about it.. eh?

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, I called the Suicide hotline. I dialled the number wrong and woke some poor old lady. She thought I was her son and kept asking me, "How come you don't visit anymore?" I told her I couldn't visit because of the Covid pandemic. I lied to an elderly woman I've never met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 202

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 335

You deserved it 6 601

Today, my brother won't fucking stop playing Minecraft whilst on the phone, when we're chatting. All I hear is him playing Minecraft. Every time. He's in university, I'm not even there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 139

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 3 598

Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 256

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 131

You deserved it 3 368

Same thing different taste

Kitchen nightmare

Kitchen nightmares

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