Intimacy: Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy...

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 369

You deserved it 13 808

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Same thing different taste

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 772

You deserved it 3 573

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 335

You deserved it 21 333

It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 4 109

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 353

You deserved it 6 228

By Desertdryspell - 20/12/2018 14:00

Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 241

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 2 302

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 502

You deserved it 5 107

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 126

Off the top of my head…

By helplesslover - 04/10/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 136

You deserved it 5 753

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 216

Tucatz 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

And in the meantime his friends hung out in the driveway, right? Pure class that is. Be glad the jackass is gone.

Bubs_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

Sounds like he deserves a Falcon Punch.

Comments

Vehicle 1

Thursday 26 March 2009 21:56

Yeah. Asshole. Oh wow. I would have popped him one. Seek some revenge!!!

whynotlive 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:00

wow i would have punched him

jSOPURE 3

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:37

Did you at least have an ******? Everybody talks about the Falcon Punch, but what about a Chuck Norris Roundhouse? Surely it's effective. =X

justjayit 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:37

Disagree with #1, depends on how long you were together and how committed you thought you both were. Anyways, that guy is such an ass. Burn his house down.

Logica42 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 22:58

Dayum. Prick. You have my condolences, but I'm also quite happy for you-- now, the jackass is out of your life. :D

antimony 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:13

he's a smart guy, i envy him

katzgoboom 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:14

#2: You sure she even KNOWS what a Falcon Punch is?

kaykaytea_ 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:25

tell him you're preggo! totally scare that jackass OUT of his pants (though sounds like he doesn't spend much time in them!) falcon punch FTW!

rwarlol 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:48

#3 who would notice he's probably a 10 sec man.

podrummer9209 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:48

Oh come on, I'd've at least given him blue balls for that shit. Anyone who has a girl willing to dress up.... or down.. or not at all... idk, wtf would you call dressing up all naughty and stuff? *shrug* Anyway, his loss.