Love: Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was...

By lostbandana - 03/07/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 352

You deserved it 3 950

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hate enough to kill... - 14/10/2012 20:57 - Netherlands - Stevensweert

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 531

You deserved it 2 012

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 18:32 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 750

You deserved it 3 998

By dane - 29/06/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 519

You deserved it 4 573

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 113

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 05:59 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 2 730

By Anonymous - 17/08/2009 08:21 - United States

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 956

You deserved it 5 573

Call the fuzz

By elizabeth - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 144

You deserved it 1 927

What was the lie?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 02:00

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 136

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 22:00

Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 3 098

By sigh - 21/12/2011 12:39 - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 3 108

fatalkiss 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 9:14

She's embarrassed because now she looks like a paranoid bitch who jumps to conclusions. So to justify her behavior, she marks you as "the asshole". It's obviously her own issue. Hopefully, she realized that soon.

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 3 July 2011 9:11

That's how it goes unfortunately.

Comments

deanodev 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 9:59

I think the asshole is your wife...

nessaface25 14

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:03

isn't she kinda the bitch here, if anything, for accusing you in the first place and not believing you after explaining to her?

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 3 July 2011 12:33

very good. wow, this fml is really bringing out the academics. so many people understanding the fml and repeating the point of it here for everyone to read. i bet youre a doctor.

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 16:41

I bet she's a theoretical physicist. She summarized it REALLY well.

MrMonk 5

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:04

what was she doing in the car and not the kitchen?

hazardoussmiles9 22

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:05

I'd rather be an asshole than a cheater.

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:23

agreed

slappygecko 21

Monday 4 July 2011 7:59

amen.

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:17

Tell her to fuckoff... if she balks... divorse the bitch!!!

Magnimus 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:18

Grow a pair, OP. Make her make you a sandwich, and not just any sandwich; but like a Monte Cristo, and it better be the best ******* Monte Cristo you've had in your life, or she walks. Two can play the dump game.

CaptainDouche 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:25

hell yeah. when the bitch starts bitching, put the bitch in the kitchen.

BADDiam 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:26

Wow , your wife is a pain in the butt.

gruvychild 17

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:27

Awwww.... sounds like you make a very nice whipping boy for your wife! Either way it's; damned if you do and damned if you don't! You may want to look in to why she's not trusting you to begin with! Possibly she's got a guilty conscience... You can only trust as much as you can be trusted! Either you accept her abuse or you don't, simple as that!

RyryIARfml 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 10:27

Bitch isn't worth your time if she's gonna accuse you like that. sorry to call her a bitch, but a woman that cares about you will understand in full honesty and trust. it's just her having trust in your heart. if she doesn't trust the truth you know, as long as you were respectful, there's a woman out there that will respect your honesty and your word, not call you an asshole. everyone is ignorant at some point, but if you hear it from the horse's mouth and still accuse, you're a wrong person and don't deserve anyone's time of day.