Animals: Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 352

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 268

You deserved it 4 713

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 375

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

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You deserved it 941

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By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Steele

Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 138

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 035

You deserved it 1 732

By skunked - 18/06/2013 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 392

You deserved it 7 074

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 61 670

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 126

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 169

Next

Top comments

awzmness 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:13

what the ****?

higz 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:19

Norbert or Daggett?

Comments

funzcpl 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 13:21

lol #28.

zemo999 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 14:04

Hey funzie wanna have some funzie??

Fishfanatic 7

Saturday 6 November 2010 13:39

OP - I live near your location and as far as I am aware we have no beavers in Birmingham or it's parks and canal systems . Unless they've made a mass breakout from the West Midlands Safari park or something O.o

kivsadr_fml 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 13:41

Aaaangry beavers! Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da (8) ps: love. that cartoon

spd2fst4u 5

Saturday 6 November 2010 14:38

if it was a real beaver... just kick it in tge head. if it's the female variety, sit back, relax, and enjoy some hate sex. :-) either way, problem solved.

Griggy 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 14:50

You mean the animal or the extremely hairy ******?

ASA5G 2

Saturday 6 November 2010 17:14

Was it Dag or Norbert?

SadinSherman 16

Saturday 6 November 2010 17:52

Did you provoke it's wrath?

SAMHAlN 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 18:46

I miss that show

GigglePony 13

Saturday 6 November 2010 19:53

YDI for typing "a angry" rather than 'an angry'

Bobissmall 13

Saturday 6 November 2010 20:44

An very angry beaver? Think before you type retard.

mola_mola 3

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:49

harsh, but the man has a point :)

SkateElement44 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 20:59

You weren't ambushed, you were attacked

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The Top

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 76

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 765

You deserved it 731

The Top

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 325

You deserved it 3 628

Today, my high point was still being able to recite all 151 generation one Pokémon in order, from memory. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 623

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 329

You deserved it 3 772

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 518

You deserved it 3 608

Today, I had the front door open, and my cat Watson, who I often call Little Boy, was sitting in front of the screen door. I wanted to close the door so, speaking to my cat, I said, "Come here, Little Boy," at which point a young child came running up to my door. His dad yelled, "Get back here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 229

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 891

You deserved it 10 988