Animals: Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 5 352

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Mystery

By mugged - 01/06/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 271

You deserved it 4 713

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 377

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 941

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Steele

Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 138

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 036

You deserved it 1 732

By skunked - 18/06/2013 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 393

You deserved it 7 074

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 61 671

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 126

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 169

awzmness 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:13

what the ****?

higz 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 1:19

Norbert or Daggett?

Comments

hannah1203 2

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:15

And this is why you don't mess with Justin Queerber! jk, mess with that fag all you want.

ikhris 4

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:36

thats pretty awsome

nickstud 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:53

girl or animal? :o

rainbowsherbet 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 4:56

you been gnawing on his wood. he was a lil touchy

lpfreek2169 3

Saturday 6 November 2010 5:17

Aaaaaaaaangry Beavers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greenpenguin999 7

Saturday 6 November 2010 5:43

coming from a female, that's very unsettling...are you on your period?

OrientlSoldr 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 5:52

was Filbert or Dagget?

pacwoman456 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 5:56

might have been Mel gibbson :)

hcovballer247 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 6:00

uhm... sorry

kekeshayeshaye 4

Saturday 6 November 2010 6:05

wasn't that the name of a show

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 926

You deserved it 4 073

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 4 499

The Top

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 373

You deserved it 3 649

Today, my dad's car door was frozen shut. As he was in a hurry, he asked me to force it open. When I did so, the door slammed into his back. hard. Now he can barely walk, even with a walker, but he needs to walk in order for it to improve, or else he may become wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 142

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 243

You deserved it 2 311

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 651

You deserved it 4 536

Today, someone finally pointed out that my 'Out of Office' message has been on for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 803

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759