By Oops - 02/11/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 625
You deserved it 14 943

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Definitely a FML. Assuming "my husband left me" means a separation/divorce is pretty reasonable, it's what most people say in that situation. I've never heard anyone using that phrasing to describe the death of their partner. If somebody told me that their partner had left them, I'd automatically make the same assumption - as I think 95% of people would.

greatnt249 0

Who the hell refers to a spouse's death as them "having left him/her"? She brought it on herself for saying it like that.

Comments

crawfosa89 0

Don't beat yourself up over it, if she said "he left me", you had no reason to think he had passed away. It is sad that he has died, but you did nothing wrong

Definitely not your fault. People shouldn't say their significant other "left them", it's poor communication. They *left* me is a complete sentence understood by any native speaker to mean abandonment; usually we do not look at death as abandonment since the dead person had no real agency in their death; ie: they did not die through their own volition. Don't worry, you shouldn't feel embarrassed over that at all.

I see your point and agree, although the circumstances of his death are unknown. It's awful to have to wonder, but maybe she phrased it the way she did because he committed suicide. Unlikely, but still possible.

FBI_fml 3

Don't worry, your friend knew u just want her feel better!

Don't worry, there's plenty of room in hell, ill keep your seat warm for you

letitbe56 0

I generally object to the practice of telling people they were better off without the person who just left them. It's really condescending. Now not only did the person leave them, but their supposed "friend" is insulting their taste in men/women, and the implication then becomes that they brought it on themselves. Although no matter what the OP said, it would have been wrong, given that the woman wasn't telling the whole story.

jchansfan 0

I agree with you. Like if their "ex" did something really rotten, then sure, yoiu can say they're better off without them. But if you're unsure how it ended, its really not that great a thing to say. You're slamming someone they used to care a lot about and possibly still do. Most people will appreciate the effort to make them feel better, but at the same time what you say can still bother them... But yeah, the way it was presented to the OP, he really couldn't have said anything that wouldn't have been wrong, considering she gave him an inaccurate story.

WTF? Who says "my husband LEFT ME a month ago" when they mean "my husband PASSED AWAY a month ago"

I don't know why people are so ******* afraid of saying "died".

Not your fault my bro. She said her husband "left her" so you used the context clues to assume they divorced, when he died. So FYL!

Who says "My husband left me last month" rather than "My husband passed away last month"? She had it coming if those were her exact words. FYL.

letitbe56 0

I think people should ease up a bit on the woman whose husband died. Yeah, the OP said what he said because of what she said. But think of her position. She's probably only at this thing because her friends or a counselor or even she herself put pressure on her to continue with her routine and live her life, but she probably went sincerely dreading exactly the kinds of questions that the OP asked her. Maybe she lied because she didn't want to have to talk about her loss, but the coping strategy backfired on her. I've only been with my boyfriend for two years, but I know how devastated I would be if I lost him. I can't even imagine being married, with children, and losing a spouse. So yeah, the OP's response was natural given what she said, but saying stuff like, "She had it coming" is incredibly insensitive.

perdix 29

I think the OP needs to take this story to **** Other People's Lives Dot Com. His life is "******" because he asked an old friend banal, cliché party small-talk questions and she went volcanic? It's her life that is ******. He himself could have been, literally, if he had played his cards right.

letitbe56 0

perdix, perdicis, f-- partridge? I'm so curious...why this name?

perdix 29

It's from Greek mythology and it is the origin of the partridge. He was the nephew of Daedalus and was an engineer like me. His boss got jealous of his ingenuity and tossed him off a tower. This is the story of my career. I hope I end up playing in a band that travels around in a Mondrian bus. ;)