Love: Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 817

You deserved it 7 154

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 07:15 - United States - Petrolia

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 993

You deserved it 3 413

By awkward - 26/09/2016 21:31 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 016

You deserved it 1 372

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

By Scoudrel - 26/02/2021 17:01

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 6 339

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 2 749

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 001

You deserved it 14 087

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 387

You deserved it 4 320

You IDIOT

By A.L.Woody - 11/08/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 794

You deserved it 113 092

By mynameisarmpit - 15/11/2010 06:48

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 4 670

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 242

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 005

You deserved it 5 368

Arcterion 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:33

Dump her ass. Clearly she does not care about you.

UpYourself 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:33

Can anybody say......threesome

Comments

artssfreak 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 4:21

eh she's probly not even bi. she's doing it to seem more attractive for you. if not, I would dump her cuz she should only be dating you.

WWJC 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 5:22

do evry1 a favor n off urself

FMLWarfare 0

Friday 17 September 2010 5:12

Dude I live in NC :D lol Only Guido here..

califormula 0

Thursday 30 September 2010 15:35

That should signal a golden opportunity for you.

broderickcj 4

Friday 8 October 2010 0:08

it's a joke you dumb ass

Ilovequintin 2

Friday 15 October 2010 6:29

That's not cool

locketine 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 7:35

I'm pretty sure your gf set that up so that you would dump her for it. Waitresses don't just walk up to strangers and ask them out.

beaglegun2009 4

Monday 18 April 2011 5:01

I dont support you its against the bible

SpizzySpose_fml 0

Monday 2 May 2011 22:54

I have a bisexual girlfriend aswell. It's awesome! ^.^

TheresNoEffingwa 7

Friday 20 May 2011 1:32

...u may be the luckiest man alive

Keywords

Annoying Education University Confused Sex AITA Divorce Awkward Love Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Cute Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Food Health Roommate Texting My ex

The Top

Today, the guy I've been seeing posted on social media about having relationship problems and arguments with his girl. I've been in the hospital for surgery for the past few days and have been unable to talk to him. Before this, he told me I was the only one. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 967

You deserved it 135

Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 407

The Top

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 185

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 043

You deserved it 3 231

Today, the highlight of my day was going outside and finding that there were two very friendly cats right at the front door. The worst part of my day was quickly shutting the door while trying to stop my cat from charging at them. I now have scars to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 120

Today, my fiancé completely missed the birth of our first child because he had started watching a new series on Netflix and really wanted to know how it ended. By the time he made it to the hospital our daughter was already 7 hours old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 248

You deserved it 1 050

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 958

You deserved it 6 113

Today, I celebrated my 30th birthday by accidentally knocking my fiancée’s tooth out with her glass as she tried to a sip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 257

Same thing different taste

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

Pleased to meet you

You IDIOT

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