Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 17:24 - United States - Newtown

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 592

You deserved it 34 939

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ashley - 30/04/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 257

You deserved it 28 581

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 08:25 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 119

You deserved it 7 991

Star Wars

By Not an anti-Semite, just a dumbass - 26/02/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 794

Forever solo

By xoxo96 - 03/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 445

You deserved it 5 108

Trolling for soup

By he's a dawk, and a cunt - 05/07/2013 22:29 - Australia - Darling Point

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 261

You deserved it 8 118

By oooooops - 23/03/2015 00:32 - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 196

You deserved it 7 698

By oops - 22/08/2014 14:35 - Australia - Wembley

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 531

You deserved it 50 732

By Chelsea - 20/07/2009 05:54 - United States

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 200

You deserved it 85 188

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 13:29 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 108

You deserved it 82 602

By maddiecat - 08/01/2013 05:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 418

You deserved it 100 855

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Top comments

flashback.miss 28

Sunday 9 November 2014 0:28

why would you do the hunger games salute at a bar mitzvah anyway?

devildog562 33

Sunday 9 November 2014 0:22

This is a you deserve it all the way. Mazel tov to your friend.

Comments

cjl922 17

Friday 10 June 2016 17:23

HEIL HITLER

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

The Top

Today, I picked up my car after I got it painted. As I backed up in the parking lot, my car scraped against a pillar. Now I have to put it right back in the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 550

You deserved it 13 937

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 559

You deserved it 39 168

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 136

You deserved it 4 395

Today, I arranged a date with a girl online I really get along with, because frankly we both have a filthy sense of humour and love sexting. At the date, it turns out she’s deaf, which is not a problem, but she brought her sister as an interpreter. Without our usual conversation, it was just painfully awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 141

Today, I went into a store for an interview. I've had several places wanting to talk to me and this job was a lot lower paying. I got a little cocky and when offered the job, I said I wanted some time to finish my other interviews first and see what my options were. The manager then took back his offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 730

You deserved it 27 712

Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 435

You deserved it 1 154