Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea...

By poop - 21/03/2015 16:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 2 726

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By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 7 622

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 3 087

Bathroom break

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 371

You deserved it 8 257

The trumpets of doom

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 15:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 26

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 3 826

Trumpet solo

By Churizmo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 250

You deserved it 5 553

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 860

You deserved it 3 437

may14th 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:00

I feel like this is everyone's worst fear

UhHuhHoney 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 7:58

Well, be prepared to always have that story be brought up in the future as a funny one haha

Comments

Doubtful_Judge 23

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:20

Say bukuchi (i cant really remember the pinyin) Its im sorry

alullaby 21

Sunday 22 March 2015 11:04

对不起。 Dui bu qi.

Liyuesigs 8

Sunday 22 March 2015 14:48

I believe he meant 不客气 = you are welcome :)

slingerslasher 24

Sunday 22 March 2015 19:45

why would you want to say 不客气 in this situation? unless it's like "you're welcome for the free show"

Doubtful_Judge 23

Monday 23 March 2015 0:01

Sorry, I'm learning Mandarin, and get those ones mixed up all the time.

Liyuesigs 8

Monday 23 March 2015 4:47

From the sound of it. I believe he is confused with Sorry and You Are Welcome.

MichaelDeSanta 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:23

That's like my worst fear right there!

katydid91 31

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:38

My worst fear is NOT making it to the toilet. Without going into any further detail, let's just say my fear is completely justified thanks to my tempermental bowels!

MichaelDeSanta 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 21:08

I am very sorry, I think everybody has pooped themselves at least once as an adult... If that makes you feel any better haha.

simperino 11

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:36

Haha

guttedbrit 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:42

it can't be helped! these things happen! as long as you make sure everything is clean once you leave and you spray like hell, all will be fine!

interesting33 36

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:57

What was the point of telling you that?

Liu1992 14

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:06

我要拉屎!

spike7447 13

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:08

Lmao!

WaltzingPhanthom 23

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:09

Solution: Put a wad of toilet paper at the bottom of the bowl. Then shit with all your might. Warning: Make sure you have plenty of toilet paper at your disposal. The solution above can backfire horribly if you have no toilet paper to use after taking a silent shit.