Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea...

By poop - 21/03/2015 16:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 2 726

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By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 7 622

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 3 087

Bathroom break

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 371

You deserved it 8 257

The trumpets of doom

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 15:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 27

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 3 826

Trumpet solo

By Churizmo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 250

You deserved it 5 553

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 860

You deserved it 3 437

may14th 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:00

I feel like this is everyone's worst fear

UhHuhHoney 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 7:58

Well, be prepared to always have that story be brought up in the future as a funny one haha

Comments

more4me 27

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:39

Embarrassing but better than suffering those nasty cramps and leaking noxious farts all over the room ! Feel better !

buckdharma 37

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:52

London A.P- Seismologists held their breath today as an earth tremor measuring 2.3 on the Richter scale was later reported to be op's rectum. Their holding their breath was found to be ironic, as well as necessary.

TheUnum 7

Sunday 22 March 2015 10:22

Just joke about it later that's funny FML

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 22 March 2015 13:02

Why was "everyone" at your teachers house? Did you guys get a group rate or something?

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:57

Don't know why this is down voted. I think everyone else is wondering the same thing...

lvg_fml 10

Sunday 22 March 2015 14:24

Thanks mom! Everyone else probably would have acted like they don't hear anything

denica 6

Sunday 22 March 2015 15:07

Why is your mom at your teachers house?

FMyLyricalAnus 11

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:13

Could have been worse, you could have.... Nope that's as bad as it gets.

superspooky 13

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:15

What the hell is 'diarrhoea'?

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:56

The British (and if I'm correct) the original spelling of Diarrhea

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:38

Am I the only one confused by this FML? It starts with "Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house." Are we supposed to assume OP's mom was there? I'm also assuming there was more people there besides her and the teacher because of the fact that she said "we all" instead of "we both" [heard you]. Am I missing the entire point of this or something? Or am I reading to much into it. Probably both. It frustrates me how much better this FML would be if the author put a little thought into how he/she worded it. Not to mention spelling diarrhea wrong.

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:45

I also wanted to edit in that yes, this is definitely embarrassing OP. But we all know it's something that happens to everyone. Don't worry too much about it. At least you didn't shit your pants. :)

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:52

Didn't know diarrhea is spelled that way in British English. *the more you know*

purplhaze88 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 17:23

Everyone poops. Everyone will get diarrhea at least once in their lives. At least you didn't shit yourself, and have to do a walk of stanky brown shame.