Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea...

By poop - 21/03/2015 16:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 614

You deserved it 2 726

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By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 498

You deserved it 7 621

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 853

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 337

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 844

You deserved it 3 087

Bathroom break

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 371

You deserved it 8 256

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 345

You deserved it 3 826

Trumpet solo

By Churizmo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 247

You deserved it 5 553

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 859

You deserved it 3 436

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 93

may14th 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:00

I feel like this is everyone's worst fear

UhHuhHoney 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 7:58

Well, be prepared to always have that story be brought up in the future as a funny one haha

Comments

UhHuhHoney 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 7:58

Well, be prepared to always have that story be brought up in the future as a funny one haha

AGB10 19

Sunday 22 March 2015 7:58

Look at the plus side - they didn't all smell you

may14th 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:00

I feel like this is everyone's worst fear

extrasnipes 22

Sunday 22 March 2015 12:19

Well to be honest, spiders are a lot scarier then being heard taking a dump.

El_Boxeador 14

Sunday 22 March 2015 17:59

And you know what even worse? Not making it to the toilet because there's a spider on it!

grajax 24

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:01

"That's a shitty situation." -said no one ever.

katydid91 31

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:40

Yeah, I wouldn't say that, it's so obvious it's best left unsaid.

courtz94 24

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:01

That's not something you can control. Hopefully no one made it more awkward than it already was. Life happens though.

Miss_Syntax 15

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:02

It happens to the best of us! It just sucks. We're all human, OP!

CinematicKid 16

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:04

大便！ ^ it means poop.

interesting33 36

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:59

Is the exclamation mark part of Mandarin too, as in is it a letter in Mandarin? Or is it just an exclamation mark?

thejonac 21

Sunday 22 March 2015 9:30

no the exclamation part has the same punctuation as english

p36288 17

Sunday 22 March 2015 23:56

or 拉肚子

jojimugo 20

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:06

Your mum is cool

flyingmind_fml 17

Sunday 22 March 2015 12:17

well yeah she is

ghetto_child 19

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:08

next time open the taps on the sink and pray that they have copper plumbing! if they do, it'll make more noise than you do. if all else fails, just poop like nobody's listening

El_Boxeador 14

Sunday 22 March 2015 8:56

Please don't! I would rather be heard than to waste water like that.

flyingmind_fml 17

Sunday 22 March 2015 12:19

#18 oh u're such a good kid

awkwardeer 26

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:59

I think it's more awkward when people do that. Every time they go to the bathroom I mean.

El_Boxeador 14

Sunday 22 March 2015 17:04

@ 34-Or I know the value of water. I didn't grow up having unlimited water at my disposal like you. My state only had running water from 10am-2pm. And some days there was no water at all. Wasting water that ways feels like a slap to the face to the people who don't have access to running water in other parts of the world, which are more than you think, myself included.