Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2010 12:56 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 4 477

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 03/01/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 878

You deserved it 5 061

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 157

You deserved it 6 018

No warning

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 513

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 661

You deserved it 10 376

Welcome to the danger zone

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 22:00

Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 321

By annonymous - 28/02/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 6 946

By loserllamalick - 07/10/2013 14:32 - United States - Rochester

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 722

You deserved it 39 685

By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 110

You deserved it 6 062

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 998

You deserved it 18 158

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:11

Holy Moley!!!

greeneyedgoalie7 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:05

oooh ouch why would he do that?

Comments

Ajjas013 6

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:17

Austin Powers said it first. BLOODY MOLE. HOLY MOLY. CHOP UP THAT MOLE AND MAKE IT INTO GUACAMOLE!

PsychoMerk 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:20

win :)

blastvortex 3

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:32

I was thinking the same thing. [starts chanting "moley, moley" incessantly]

purplemnm 9

Sunday 21 February 2010 22:07

ajjas you ******* line stealing bastard

MadaZer0 8

Sunday 21 February 2010 22:45

Limey 

pr0adam 0

Monday 22 February 2010 18:05

how the **** is he line stealing if he said who said it u dumb bitch

purplemnm 9

Tuesday 23 February 2010 1:54

**** you 104 if some of your blood went to your brains instead of balls you'd figure out that I was implying that I was going to say the exact same thing AND it's a line from a movie.