Intimacy: Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend....

By juliaspaperbags - 16/08/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 854

You deserved it 8 103

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Same thing different taste

By thunder thighs - 11/02/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 502

You deserved it 6 288

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 9 440

By weirdlove - 23/01/2010 08:38 - Australia

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 620

You deserved it 7 989

By woof woof?? - 15/06/2013 20:26 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 925

You deserved it 10 007

By porkythighs - 27/12/2009 14:19 - Singapore

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 353

You deserved it 7 789

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 817

You deserved it 53 757

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 50 930

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 517

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 871

You deserved it 4 977

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 203

You deserved it 14 275

volleyballgirl16 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:19

your boyfriend=WIN be grateful you have a hilarious boyfriend

amsedel 1

Sunday 16 August 2009 20:10

how cute. :D

Comments

Lydiyooo 0

Friday 18 June 2010 4:22

Haha what a dick

brittanyshaay 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 10:00

i heard that if you drink a lot of water then it will replenish your skin and restore the elasticity and prevent cellulite.

Haaayitsme123 2

Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:39

haaaa :()

DReamBig24 0

Friday 27 May 2011 8:12

that's kinda flirty. but you know guys love our extra stuff

critterlynn 1

Saturday 16 July 2011 7:29

that's hilarious!!!

Holy_ish 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 21:43

lmao its moments like those that you remember in your relationship. i do things like that to my girlfriend

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Sunday 14 August 2011 3:24

God that's funny.

crazyluv17 0

Friday 26 August 2011 1:32

watch it wiggle, make it jiggle

xmudvaynex 13

Sunday 9 October 2011 2:26

Am I the only one who sung the song in my head after reading? Lol

Blipp25 0

Monday 17 October 2011 6:44

He's a true hero

Keywords

AITA Love Suspicious Relationship advice Relatable Singing Birthday Family Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Roommate Dating Awkward Pregnancy Work Social Media Instagram Scams Money Doctor Food Healthy Lifestyle Health Babies Scary Insects Management Party

The Top

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 392

You deserved it 9 326

Today, a VIP visited our building. I was put in charge of his hospitality and was very nervous. At one point, he asked me if he could, “Ahem… wash my hands.” Without thinking, I took him to our kitchen so he could use the sink. Turns out he needed a pee. He looked at me like I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, it's been many years since I criticised my sister for homeschooling her kids instead of sending them to a normal school. Now all three of her kids are at university in science courses. My two sons graduated high school still struggling to read or spell, and don’t have the grades for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 918

Today, every one of the girls in the friend group I’m in collectively agreed that I'm too soft, innocent, and adorable looking to date or hook up with. However, they expressed that they each want to get with my best friend, and asked me if I can set each of them up with him to hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 104

Today, I agreed to help a "friend" again, after only finding out yesterday she'd been lying to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 890

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 899

You deserved it 2 929

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 444

You deserved it 3 892

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 938

You deserved it 487

Same thing different taste

You tried!

A little higher, dude

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