Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute...

By Noname - 19/02/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 005

You deserved it 14 129

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Same thing different taste

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 069

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 764

You deserved it 6 705

Gassy

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:53 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 960

You deserved it 9 103

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 8 443

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 525

You deserved it 13 279

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 425

You deserved it 10 267

Classic backfire

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 168

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 739

By fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 133

You deserved it 62 898

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 798

You deserved it 11 968

alley_cat_118 0

Friday 20 February 2009 2:31

Isn't that a good thing? I mean-- if you can make someone laugh, you can make them do anything, right? Funny women are a rarity, and you farting while looking sexy is hilarious.

cooterpunch 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:05

That's when you turn to him, a swoosh of hair covering one eye, and say "If you like that, there's more where it came from," turn on your heels and do a sexy saunter out of the library.

Comments

alley_cat_118 0

Friday 20 February 2009 2:31

Isn't that a good thing? I mean-- if you can make someone laugh, you can make them do anything, right? Funny women are a rarity, and you farting while looking sexy is hilarious.

matt5217 4

Wednesday 14 April 2010 15:32

maybe to you, but most guys don't like girls that do that

LegitDGK 0

Monday 24 May 2010 3:31

fetish much?

Cashmere_Cactus 0

Friday 20 February 2009 2:43

roflcopter.

president_benson 0

Friday 20 February 2009 3:09

nice and cool does the trick ;-)

NorfolkDude 2

Friday 20 February 2009 3:46

I would have laughed too and asked you out because that would be the funniest freaking thing ever. I couldn't wait to see what you did next, though. BTW, don't stress it that much. Passing gas is a regular thing it appears, and most people don't mind. It's "funny" but not if you're nasty about it.

quiksta 0

Friday 20 February 2009 6:55

it's called a voluntary sphincter. you should have decided not to fart.

nobody_special 0

Friday 20 February 2009 10:29

Sorry, I LOL'd irl. Well, at least he laughed instead of sneered at you... Good effort, though! :)

ridiculous_gnome 0

Friday 20 February 2009 21:24

escaping fugitive farts happen... when you're doing push-ups, carrying bricks or sitting in a weird position... not when you're walking! Seek medical atention.