Work: Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out...

By Lazy - 20/09/2009 12:03 - Australia

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 763

You deserved it 10 136

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Same thing different taste

Quit staring

By Insomniac - 15/06/2022 00:00

Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 129

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 4 928

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 897

You deserved it 9 496

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 32 915

By Anonymous - 08/10/2014 03:15 - United States - San Diego

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 429

You deserved it 2 938

Oh, hai!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2020 20:00

Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 545

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 820

You deserved it 19 224

Creeper alert!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 743

You deserved it 13 843

By crosseyed - 10/06/2009 19:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 318

You deserved it 74 531

By Sleepy - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 569

You deserved it 70 001

gz_fml 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:13

It sucks to be insulted when you are honestly trying to make someone's day better for them. Sorry about your bitchy co-worker!

Noob30 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:19

HOW ******* HARD IS IT TO TYPE "YOUR/YOU'RE"?! HOOOW, HAAAAARD?!!

Comments

clos14 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:41

u suck

Noob30 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:27

And you can't take the time to press two more keys, Captain Sillyfuck.

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:42

Last week I had the strangest dream That everything was exactly how it seemed Where there was never any mystery Of who shot John F. Kennedy It was just a man with something to prove Slightly bored and severely confused He steadied his rifle with his target in the center And became famous on that day in November Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 21 September 2009 1:07

:D Any musical thing Ben Gibbard does FTW

AmericansAreDumb 0

Monday 21 September 2009 4:14

My girlfriend is in love with him... so naturally, I hate him.

elliekinslurvsya 0

Monday 21 September 2009 5:30

oh my god. i love you.

DrunkenValor 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:45

I just woke up from a 10 hour sleep, and I feel and look sexy. The boss must be a jealous insomniac

ferreal 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:47

lol classic

The_Pleb 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 16:50

i found out that insomniacs are always jealous of people who can sleep, especially people who can sleep at work

pantiehamster01 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:19

that doesn't deserve "i agree, your life sucks" or "you totally deserved it"...your boss is just a dick.

jonny2x4 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:34

Sometimes a boss just knows.

anniemarie 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:36

okay.... so?

palmtrees 1

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:45

again with the need for a "so what?" button

Mulada 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:48

You know, people who sleep more actually lose or maintain their normal weight, right? It's sitting around on the couch eating chips that makes ya fat.

O_HALEZ_NAW 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 20:38

How? Your body burns less calories sleeping than when you're awake. Also, the amount of calories you burn while you're sleeping are not like the amount of calories you burn sitting on the couch and the amount of calories being gained eating chips.