Work: Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like... - FML

By Jamie - 20/09/2013 00:47 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 280

You deserved it 13 928

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By eyepatch - 19/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Albany

Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 868

You deserved it 418

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 803

You deserved it 20 724

By story of my life. - 21/02/2009 14:33 - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 173

You deserved it 34 417

Donut laugh at me

By sdeeter - 29/04/2013 13:39 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 911

You deserved it 9 146

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 610

You deserved it 11 380

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 487

You deserved it 17 973

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 219

By hallofail - 01/11/2012 00:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 2 999

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 1 291

Next

Top comments

dawood_k 27

Friday 20 September 2013 8:52

Shame on you, you should always lift the eyepatch and make sure before doubting someone

CharresBarkrey 15

Friday 20 September 2013 9:40

To get free donuts... We've been over this

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Friday 21 November 2014 17:27

That sucks.

superguydude200 5

Tuesday 7 April 2015 1:51

This wouldn't be a YDI. Given the circumstances it isn't your fault.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 646

You deserved it 52 015

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I made a multiple choice exam so my friend could practice and get a good grade on his real exam. While I was helping him finish it, the teacher saw it, thought we were cheating and failed us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 194

You deserved it 2 750

Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 108

Today, while watching YouTube, I was drinking when something funny happened. I laughed, choked, and threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 263

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 861

You deserved it 3 023

Today, I was barely out of the shower when someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was my husband, I opened the door wearing just a bathrobe. It was my husband. With two cops. "Do you know this man?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 441

You deserved it 582

Today, I am now sans job due to burnout. My supervisors recognized I was overworked, and I'd told them I was not able to keep up with all the roles loaded on. I guess firing me was the best business solution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 134