Work: Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like...

By Jamie - 20/09/2013 00:47 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 280

You deserved it 13 928

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By eyepatch - 19/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Albany

Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 868

You deserved it 418

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 803

You deserved it 20 724

By story of my life. - 21/02/2009 14:33 - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 173

You deserved it 34 417

Donut laugh at me

By sdeeter - 29/04/2013 13:39 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 911

You deserved it 9 146

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 610

You deserved it 11 380

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 487

You deserved it 17 973

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 219

By hallofail - 01/11/2012 00:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 2 999

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 1 291

dawood_k 27

Friday 20 September 2013 8:52

Shame on you, you should always lift the eyepatch and make sure before doubting someone

CharresBarkrey 15

Friday 20 September 2013 9:40

To get free donuts... We've been over this

Comments

Chellec2013 28

Friday 20 September 2013 10:30

Well it's time to walk the plank OP

PearlCorinn 13

Friday 20 September 2013 10:34

Well then thats not really dressing up is it?

Ruuku 11

Friday 20 September 2013 10:45

Sometimes it's best to keep an eye out for this sort of thing

EpicSquishii 21

Friday 20 September 2013 11:13

I hear Krispy Creme is going out of business :( It was always suspicious to me how cheap those donuts are. Kind of reminds me of Jim Gaffigans bit "It's almost like they're giving them away"

WhiteCrimson 23

Friday 20 September 2013 11:55

Arrrrrg!!! Lol did he at least offer to show you his busted eye?

Vegetarian27 24

Friday 20 September 2013 12:21

I might be the only one, but right after I read "with only an eyepatch" I automatically jumped to the conclusion that he was naked. Then I read the rest if the FML.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 20 September 2013 12:41

I want Krispy Kreme! Where you at!!!

Krispy_kream 8

Friday 20 September 2013 13:24

You work for me.

jdeezy01 13

Friday 20 September 2013 16:23

You mean to tell me this guy poked his own eye out just to get a free dozen donuts?

LifeOfAnRN 18

Friday 20 September 2013 16:24

OP shouldn't feel bad at all. If the guy had NOT been trying to get the free donuts that would be a different story. It was for people who "dressed like a pirate" not who happened to need an eyepatch. That sounds harsh but think about it. He seemed to be trying to take advantage of the coincidence.