Intimacy: Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little...

By Embarressed... - 04/08/2010 10:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 593

You deserved it 11 340

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 15 067

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 607

You deserved it 4 057

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 92 951

By oboy - 01/03/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 307

You deserved it 7 400

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 982

You deserved it 3 354

By Anonymous - 11/02/2010 13:33 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 7 926

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 727

By littl3storm - 13/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 561

You deserved it 4 700

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 369

preetyprincess 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:27

awkward...

bt2breakskn 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:30

his dad taught him well lol jk

Comments

cardin_06 3

Wednesday 4 August 2010 23:14

wow

edknex 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 23:28

pics please

IsaacYorkHawk 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 23:44

Well the kid was hungry... FOR *******!!! Come to think of it, so am I. #6: I'd motorboat those puppies all night.

FMLWarfare 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 23:46

Well #6 I can see why they did it to you haha;b

Chadly4life 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 23:51

haha!!

xlovexsexxmagic 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 0:05

wow if I were being babysitter by 6 I'd suck those **** dry and Peter griffin could have the remains lmao

rmolson 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 0:09

wow

ShotCaller82 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 0:09

where can u see OP's pic?

vmslove8 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 0:16

hahah! that's friggin hilarious :b

buddyboy50000000 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 0:26

well how big r they lol jk

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 803

You deserved it 40 679

Today, I had a Zoom job interview. My roommate grabbed me, duct-taped my mouth, and hogtied me. I watched helplessly as he took the call with my potential employer, insulted her, and said, “Fuck this job.” All because I “hit on his girlfriend” at a BBQ yesterday, by asking her if she wanted another hot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 156

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 426

You deserved it 32 236

Today, after about 8 hours of working and making huge orders, I received my share of tips. It was only a quarter. One single quarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 87

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 476

You deserved it 2 073

Today, I’ve been violently ill with diarrhea, and have been for past three days. I finally discovered why. It's because I ate a piece of candy off the recently-cleaned floor last week. My immune system is so weak, it can’t respect the 5-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 1 342