Love: Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 09:59 - Russian Federation - Lipetsk

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 969

You deserved it 4 117

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 180

By thenewgirl - 06/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 3 895

By FML - 15/07/2009 14:29 - Syrian Arab Republic

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 667

You deserved it 5 308

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 750

By skygardens - 21/08/2018 15:00

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 234

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 980

You deserved it 18 446

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 216

You deserved it 4 359

By e - 02/12/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 4 336

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 866

You deserved it 5 294

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 955

You deserved it 3 174

Welshite 39

Friday 21 February 2014 15:28

Confiscate his key and keep an eye on yours. That's creepy.

ipman737 18

Friday 21 February 2014 15:28

Have a serious talk with him?

Comments

2ndSucks 15

Friday 21 February 2014 15:34

Didn't you know you're never truly alone?

Marlee141717 9

Friday 21 February 2014 15:42

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Wizardo 33

Friday 21 February 2014 15:45

Talk and see if there is a sensible explanation say a surprise of some kind he was planning. If not take the key and sternly explain to him the concept of personal boundaries and trust and if all else fails and he gets aggressive or another like, kick him out and consider police for domestic disturbance

meatmaeta 21

Friday 21 February 2014 16:12

If it goes that far, get an order of protection.

icepick23 12

Friday 21 February 2014 15:50

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

arandomusernameaa 20

Friday 21 February 2014 16:11

An expression of love... what taking a key/ getting one cut without telling them/asking.

Cass_x 22

Friday 21 February 2014 15:50

oh shit. run

Sathane 21

Friday 21 February 2014 15:51

Maybe he likes to smell your laundry to remind himself of you. How sweet!! It could be worse. It could have been your ex boyfriend...

Luluthus 41

Friday 21 February 2014 15:52

That is extremely creepy. You two need to have a long talk, possibly followed by a restraining order.

zoegirl_455 30

Friday 21 February 2014 16:02

Why in the world is he trying to be at your house when you're not there? That's pretty shady

illinoiscentral 16

Friday 21 February 2014 16:02

I SO hope this will have some kind of a follow-up from OP. And how the guy tries to explain this shit.

turdoblast 21

Friday 21 February 2014 16:05

please please pleaaase post a follow up. oh, and, don't take this lightly. he might have the best excuse in the world and make it seem completely non creepy but most psychopaths seem normal until they... skin you...