Work: Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code...

By tool - 09/04/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 908

You deserved it 143 195

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 21:27 - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 179

You deserved it 7 963

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 05:15 - Australia

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 309

You deserved it 43 582

By scaredinnyc - 14/11/2012 01:03 - United States - Trenton

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 31 401

Great idea

By aridaley - 21/05/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 535

You deserved it 65 005

By lk mm, n vwls - 11/01/2014 01:20 - United States - Mansfield Depot

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 464

You deserved it 4 814

By nukebroadcast - 16/12/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 317

You deserved it 6 014

By bananamuffin - 30/03/2012 19:13 - United States

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 010

You deserved it 74 026

By MissSmarts - 14/12/2009 01:27 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 977

You deserved it 39 668

By Username - 02/08/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 504

You deserved it 5 111

Sole music

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 388

You deserved it 3 980

scott1494 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 16:05

haaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!! Talk about being a tool!!!!!

Tucatz 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 16:07

Could be worse- at the grocery store you might be a $0.69 can of green beans. And at the drugstore you could be Preparation H. In fact, that should be your new goal- to go around and find out what you are at various stores.